


//Let The World : B

by thelonebamf, zeke_pliskin



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Alternate Universe, Chatting & Messaging, Gratutious use of emoji, M/M, MMORPGs, Modern Setting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-02 04:26:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10209587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonebamf/pseuds/thelonebamf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeke_pliskin/pseuds/zeke_pliskin
Summary: Long distance relationships can be hard work. You just never know who's on the other side of the screen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a fun RP that we decided to tidy up and share, especially after there was such a positive response to some of the art that came out of it. <3

**User: SolidSnake, Lv. 5 has logged in at Philanthropy City**

 

SolidSnake: hey

SolidSnake: can anybody help me play this game?

SolidSnake: i'm new and i have no idea what to do

 

Dave sat back from his keyboard, a heavy sigh escaping him as he ran a hand down his face. What was he even doing with his time, playing some basement-nerd game? This was clearly hopeless.

 

**User: Otacon, Lv.12 has sent a message!**

 

Otacon: Hi! New here? I can help show you the ropes if you want.

Otacon: Paladin? That's a good choice for beginners. Lots of Attack power, not too many spells to memorize...

Otacon: Maybe I can be of service in that department! ^_^

 

The brightly colored avatar did a spin and pose with gratuitous sparkling effects.

 

Dave leaned forward with an easy grin. A girl, in a game you have to be 18 to play? Maybe it wasn’t such a waste of time after all.

 

SolidSnake: hey yeah thanks lol

SolidSnake: i just bought this game and it's been a rough start. the tutorial kind of levels you up and then what? haha

SolidSnake: so are you a fairy or something?

 

The paladin avatar sat and stood repeatedly, in what Dave desperately hoped looked like laughter.

 

Back at his place, Hal had to stifle an ungainly giggle- even though there was no one else in the apartment to hear.

 

Otacon: A fairy? Haha, no. Those are usually NPCs. You did the quest for the vial of holy well water right? That was a fairy. Much smaller.

Otacon: I'm a cleric. Like a... healer, with some other spells to help buff the party. 

Otacon: Not much good at attacking on my own though, so I have to find partners to go on quests with.

Otacon:... you having trouble with your keyboard?

 

A question mark popped up over the girl's head in a bright pink.

 

_ Okay... _ Dave thought to himself.  _ So, obviously not laughter. _

 

SolidSnake: sorry that was my cat

SolidSnake: i could probably use a healer, i suck at this game lol

SolidSnake: i saw online that there’s supposed to be a newbie quest to steal some gold from a goblin or something? you can come with me for that!

 

Dave drummed on his keyboard for a moment, and then decided to play the hapless student.

 

SolidSnake: can you teach me the move things?

SolidSnake: what are they called?

SolidSnake: emotes?

 

Hal's laughter eventually subsided and gave way to a genuine smile. It wasn’t often one met someone willing to ask so bluntly for help.

 

Otacon: Sure. See that little smiley face just above your name in the chat window? Click on that and you'll see a short menu of options. 

Otacon: They're mostly different types of smiles and icons, but you should get the idea.

Otacon: You start out with those ten, but you'll earn more as you level up.

 

The cleric waved again.

 

Otacon: And yeah! You're talking about Grimmlet's Cave? We should be able to do that in about an hour if you have the time now.

 

Dave looked at the clock. He had plenty of time before he has to leave, and the girl seemed friendly enough to pal around with. He found the greeting emote, and smiled as his character waved gleefully.

 

SolidSnake: sure, i'd love to get some experience in.

SolidSnake: i'm not sure if people use names here, but can i just call you otacon? you can call me snake

 

He groaned a bit as he sent the message too quickly, unable to stop himself from giving her his old nickname. Hopefully she wouldn’t be too put off.

 

Hal made a pleased 'hn' as the other avatar waved back. Even though he was a newbie, this Snake seemed like a quick learner and willing to take advice, which he'd found to be more important in a partnership than innate skill. Not the worst pairing he'd ever been a part of, not by a long shot.

 

Otacon: Cool. We can get started as soon as we leave the town. Follow me!

 

**User: Otacon has added you to their party!**

 

The avatar beckoned and started heading for the city gates.

 

Otacon: Snake, huh? That's a real tough guy name.

 

Dave scrambled for a "flex" emote, but the closest thing is a pose with his sword. It would have to do.

 

SolidSnake: the toughest

SolidSnake: besides, it's what my friends called me. back in the day anyway.

 

Dave was quiet for a moment, lost in reminiscence, before he realized his avatar wasn't moving and he needed to catch up to Otacon before she got suspicious.

 

Otacon: That must have been fun, with your friends. Giving each other nicknames. 

Otacon: I just had to make up my own.

 

SolidSnake: my friends all gave each other dumb nicknames. kinda sucks that mine is just a copy of my dad's from when he was young

 

SolidSnake: you seem pretty tough yourself. level 12, that’s more than double mine.

SolidSnake: how long have you been playing this anyway?

 

Otacon: Me? Tough?

 

Hal's hands hovered over the keys for a moment, as he tried to decide exactly how honest to be. After all, this cleric was one of his newest characters and one of the few not to have reached the game's level cap.

 

Otacon: Oh, a while. Off and on.

 

_ Mostly on _ , he thought.

 

Otacon: You'll catch up in no time, though, if we do a few raids together. Great way to earn XP.

Otacon: Don't fall behind! It's just over those mountains!

 

Dave smiled, in a way that he nearly hated himself for. He wasn’t predatory, but he did admit to himself that a lonely girl might make for a more understanding companion than a social one. The bit about making up friends might have had him worried, but he knew all about speaking to those no longer present.

 

SolidSnake: your little ballerina legs are so quick, slow down!!

 

SolidSnake: wow, there's a lot of rats on this path

SolidSnake: don’t get scared c;

 

Dave looked down at his trusty sled mutt, silly old Luka, and grumbled out an inquiry as to why he was so bad with women. Luka whined and laid her chin on his hand, and Dave chuckled a bit. Maybe Otacon would like pictures of his dogs later? Maybe.

 

Hal wasn't sure what to say about the comment regarding Snake's dad. Not that he didn't know what it was like to follow in your father's footsteps- he just wasn’t used to other players being quite so giving with their personal details.

 

Otacon: So your dad was a paladin too, huh? ^_^

Otacon: I've been using the same handle since I was in high school. It stands for 'otaku convention'.

 

He wondered if he was going to have to explain what an otaku was... maybe Snake would just ignore it. There were quite a lot of rats.

 

Otacon: Don't worry about me! Try this out!

 

**User: Solid Snake has gained +10 to STR +10 to DEF**

 

Otacon: Hold down CTRL to select a lot of enemies at once. Like this!

 

Even without robust attack stats, Otacon was able to make quick work of the low level creatures. His avatar struck a victory pose as XP tallied over her head.

 

Otacon: Now you try!

 

The sense of camaraderie came rushing back, raising a bit of an exhilarated chill on the back of Dave's neck. He found himself scooting forward a bit, smiling at the boost Otacon had given him. Following her instructions, he unleashed a large-range attack, even for such a low-level character. A flexing victory pose was struck as XP was tallied and displayed.

 

SolidSnake: damn, you know your shit, otaku convention

SolidSnake: that was impressive as hell.

SolidSnake: and unexpectedly fun? i'm ready to fight some more.

 

SolidSnake: thanks for the boost, too

SolidSnake: that was nice of you

 

Snake's genuine enthusiasm was easy to read, and after dealing with dozens of jaded gamer types, it was honestly very refreshing to play with someone so...

 

Well, Hal wasn't sure if Snake would approve of being called cute, but he didn't know another word for it. Best to keep that sort of thought to himself anyway.

 

Otacon: Of course! That's what I'm here for. Lots of different spells to help out.

Otacon: We just have to go through this ravine and we'll be on the other side of the mountains. That's where the entrance to the cave is.

 

His character repeated the same beckoning motion.

 

Otacon: Be sure to watch your step. If you see a wiggling shadow, that's a drop eel and they can be pretty nasty.

 

No sooner had Hal explained than a screeching and hissing sound came from his headphones, and not one, but two of the creatures appeared, dealing him several points of damage.

 

Otacon: Uh oh. Company.

 

Something instinctive rose in Dave, silly as it was, but he felt the need to protect Otacon in this sudden moment of incoming damage

 

SolidSnake: i got you

SolidSnake: hang tight!

 

Through some blunder of his keyboard, Dave managed a rather powerful combo attack, using up reserves of power--the purpose of which he still wasn't entirely sure of. After the animation completed, his avatar stood between Otacon and the monsters, heaving with effort that Dave felt he himself has expended as well.

 

SolidSnake: would you like the honor of finishing them off?

 

Hal was surprised to see a combo like that pulled off, but Snake didn't seem to be cocky after all but disposing of the creatures. 

 

Otacon: I thought you said you were new to this.  ^_~

 

His avatar raised her staff, landing a finishing blow.  The eels glowed for a second before  turning into a pile of coins. 

 

Otacon: You did all the hard work.  I'd say this belongs to you.

 

SolidSnake: i wouldn’t say i did all the hard work

SolidSnake: tbh i don’t know how i did that

 

Dave's paladin rushed the pile of coins, with more fervor than he'd really like, but a quick google search on his phone informed him of how to gift currency in the game.

 

**User Otacon has gained 75g**

 

SolidSnake: i wouldn’t have even gotten here without you

SolidSnake: besides, partners split, right? thick as thieves

 

Hal stared at the notification until it disappeared. 75 gold wasn't much in the grand scheme of things, just about half a potion, but he was more used to players keeping their purse strings rather tight outside of agreed upon splits.

 

Otacon: Wow. Thank you!

 

He didn't know what to say after that, so he just guided his character down the trail until the two of them reached the cave's entrance.

 

Otacon: You really mean it?

Otacon: Partners?

 

SolidSnake: isn’t that the point of the game? partnering and quests and stuff?

 

Dave shook his head in amused disbelief, following his new companion to the intimidating cave mouth.

 

SolidSnake: besides

SolidSnake: there is only one thing worse than fighting with allies, and that is fighting without them

 

The paladin struck his victory pose once more.

 

SolidSnake: churchill said that

SolidSnake: i think

 

Maybe Hal was reading a little much into things, but then again he'd never had much luck with guilds and team ups in the past. It was part of the reason he'd abandoned some of his more developed accounts in favor of this more likable support character.

 

Otacon: You're right.

Otacon: It's definitely a lot more fun this way.

 

Even the way Snake delivered his inspirational quote was sort of... endearing. Anyone with access to a page-a-day calendar could spout clever one liners, but something about Snake's matter of factness made Hal think he knew what he was talking about.

 

The cave was dark, and foreboding music began to play as they ventured forward.

 

Otacon: Keep a sharp eye out. We're likely to run into some more bad guys on our way to the treasure. ^^

 

SolidSnake: YOU keep a sharp eye out

SolidSnake: so far i've done all the saving here anyway

 

Dave considered his message, and then realized that perhaps his joking tone might not be communicated.

 

SolidSnake: kidding of course

 

Hal was used to being teased, but it was usually a little more mean spirited or on the nose. This sort of gentle jibe wasn't so bad, especially when followed up by what appeared to be a genuinely creeped out Snake.

 

There was something about the ominous music and the dark space of the dungeon that set Dave at unease, but Otacon seemed a good companion for things like this. She was cheery and positive, and helped ground Dave in the ironic reality that this was just a game, and no harm would truly befall him.

 

SolidSnake: are all the caves this creepy?

 

Otacon: Not all of them. Dragon caves are more glittery. Dwarf caves are kind of cool, full of mechanisms and puzzles. 

Otacon: Blood elf caves are way creepy though. Bleck!

Otacon: Just this way. Watch that panel on the right. Giant spiders will come out as soon as we cross the bridge.

 

He cast a quick defense boost on them both as they made it halfway across.

 

SolidSnake: how many times have you run this mission, otacon??

 

Otacon: Oh. Um. A few times. ^^" This isn't the first character I've made in this game.

 

That didn't sound too weird, did it? Snake didn't seem like much of a 'hardcore' gamer. He might not understand why someone would spend so much time in a virtual world like this one.Maybe his expertise would come off as helpful rather than kind of pathetic.

 

Fighting the cave spiders turned out to be more of a struggle than Dave was really prepared for, and he began to suspect that jumping in and beginning play was likely not the smartest decision. Still, Otacon saved him every time he neared death, which Dave dutifully reported to Luka.

 

SolidSnake: damn, those sure were huge

 

**User SolidSnake has leveled up! LVL 6**

 

SolidSnake: holy fuck that was tough

SolidSnake: but i leveled up so that's good. idk if you can see that.....

 

Otacon: Hey! Good job! What did I tell ya, you're catching right up!

 

A few more levels, and the pair stumbled upon a room that Dave suspected was just before the boss, given the healing potions hidden throughout and the lack of enemies.

 

SolidSnake: do you think we can beat this pretty quick?

SolidSnake: i have to go

SolidSnake: to an appointment

SolidSnake: i'll come back though

 

Otacon: This next room is the last one, it's got the goblin boss, who isn't that tough honestly. 

Otacon: There's just lots of little mini-gobs who like to distract you.

Otacon: Just leave the little guys to me. I'll fend them off so you can focus on the big guy. After that, we can use a portal to get back to town.

Otacon: 15 minutes?

 

Otacon: It's alright if you have to run though.

 

Dave pondered the offer, quickly, and decided that he could spare the time to spend with Otacon. She seemed like she enjoyed hanging out with Dave anyway.

 

SolidSnake: nah, i'll stick around

SolidSnake: thick as thieves

 

Otacon: Great!

Otacon: Don't worry, we'll take care of this in no time!

  
  


Dave's paladin struck the only pose he knew how to generate, but a sense of victory was what they needed. The following fight was thrilling to his senses, Otacon simultaneously providing buffs and knocking out the smaller monsters, Dave slicing through the hideous boss of the room, until at last a chest appeared in his place. Per usual, Dave looted the chest, but gifted half to Otacon- as well as a higher-level mage staff.

 

SolidSnake: idk if you even need that lol

 

Otacon: Hey, thanks! This is a lucky drop!

 

He picked up an equipped the item, casting a quick spell with it to see the animation effects.

 

Otacon: Cool! ^_^

 

The battle wasn't a particularly complicated one, being one of the first available to players who had completed the tutorial, but at the same time, Hal had rarely had so much... fun while completed a quest.

 

SolidSnake: that was some kickass teamwork. you're the one i'd want in the foxhole with me. thats for sure.

SolidSnake: fuck, i gotta go, but i'll be back in a couple of hours. send me a friend request or however this works, bye!

 

Snake was liberal with his comments, more than fair with the division of treasure and accepted Hal's suggestions readily, with little argument.

 

Otacon: Yeah! I had a lot of fun. I'd love to team up with you again!

 

**User SolidSnake has logged out.**

 

Hal watched as Snake logged out and took a few seconds to send a friend request to him, pleased with the security that it would be accepted. Hal had never been particularly adept at making friends, not even online. People tended to be judicious about who they added to their roster, but maybe Dave was new enough not to care.

 

He used the portal to return to town, and used some of the gold to buy a few basic items before wandering around a little- but after a few minutes he logged off as well.

 

Hal told himself he had just been at it for a while. A break would be good. It wasn't that he didn't find the game fun without a partner or anything... he just didn't want to get too far ahead.

 

Of Snake.

 

Ha.

 


	2. Chapter 2

It was a few hours before Dave could return home, having to stop for some supplies after his appointment; but soon he and the dogs were back inside, huddled around the fire and Dave's makeshift desk.

 

**User SolidSnake has logged in.**

 

**User SolidSnake has added Otacon as a friend.**

 

Hal had logged off for a while himself and tried to find something else to busy himself with. He'd tidied his desk a bit, carrying a stack of cups to the kitchen and even run the dishwasher. Perhaps congratulations were in order.

 

But inevitably he returned to his computer, poking around on websites on one monitor, wandering around aimlessly in-game on the other.

 

He was surprised - though tried not to feel too surprised- when a faint beep announced his friend request had been accepted. Snake was back online.

 

SolidSnake: hey otacon

SolidSnake: hope you're around?

SolidSnake: sorry i ran off on you

 

Otacon:Hey there!

Otacon: Yeah I just logged back on myself.

 

Hopefully Snake didn't know how or care to look at Hal's time log.

 

Otacon: Appointment go okay?

 

It was always nice having someone welcome you back, and Dave found himself grinning at Otacon's friendly greeting.

 

SolidSnake: eh you know how it is

SolidSnake: they always find something new to be wrong with you

SolidSnake: but i'll live, or so they tell me

 

A doctor's appointment then. Hal hoped it was nothing too serious, but perhaps it was too soon to ask follow up questions.

 

Otacon: Glad you're gonna pull through, haha. ^_~

Otacon: Too bad I can use this in real life. That'd fix you right up!

 

He brandished the new staff, blue and green stars of healing raining down before vanishing.

 

Dave moved his paladin about a bit, unsure of what to do next, then decided to get to better know his new friend.

 

SolidSnake: i'm not keeping you up, am i?

SolidSnake: i'm in the states, if you're in a different country

  
  


Otacon: It's still pretty early for me. Gotta love that Pacific time zone. 

 

_ That was probably okay to say. Informative but not too specific, not too weird. Good job, Hal. _

 

Otacon: But to be honest, I'm kind of a night owl anyway. ^_^;;

  
  


SolidSnake: oh, all right, i'm only an hour ahead of you then

SolidSnake: i'm in alaska, btw

 

He shot a questioning look to one of the dogs, who tilted her head in curious response. Dave took this as an affirmative, and nodded before typing.

 

SolidSnake: and no, i've never seen a polar bear lol

  
  


Otacon: Alaska huh? That's pretty exciting.

 

He smiled at the screen and Snake's silly jibe at himself.

 

Otacon: Never, huh? So I guess you're not logging on from inside an igloo? 

Otacon: Or maybe from the back of a dog sled? XD

 

Otacon: I'm in Seattle, myself- but contrary to popular belief, I'm typing this from my apartment, not a coffee shop.

 

It was only fair, right? To share something after receiving information?

  
  


Dave pictured Otacon in a small Seattle apartment, loose chocolate curls and an oversized sweater. He tried not to let the image burn in his brain, in the event that she perhaps didn't look like this dream girl.

 

SolidSnake: shit, you're just an hour ahead of me! 

SolidSnake: lucky how that works out, huh?

 

Dave's paladin struck his now-signature pose.

 

SolidSnake: guess it will be easy to plan game times and stuff

SolidSnake: speaking of which, what's our next quest?

  
  


The familiar victory pose made Hal laugh, both from its familiarity and the fact that they were currently standing in an empty field with nothing more than grass and ambient mana glow.

 

But it looked like Snake was interested in going on another quest- for now and... in the future as well? If this partnership worked out, they might think about starting a guild... but that sort of thinking was probably pretty far down the line. Besides, Hal had seen many a new player come and go just as quickly... it might not be a good idea to get too attached.

 

Still... “SolidSnake” was proving to be a lot of fun. He should just enjoy it while it lasted.

 

Otacon: Good question! I suppose it depends what you want to go after. Gold, equipment, or XP? 

Otacon: There's a handful of different missions available, but they range from fetch quests to marathon battles.

Otacon: Maybe it's better to ask if you want to hunt Iron Boars, tackle a pod of Mega Crabs or go up against the undead.

 

SolidSnake: iron boars sound like fun

SolidSnake: i like to hunt irl so maybe my skills will come in handy? or maybe not lol

 

There was something in Dave that wanted to sound tough, to maybe throw out a fact that turned off most people, just to test the waters of this new friendship. Hunting was a good litmus test of a person, but he hoped Otacon would understand and not jump on the animal cruelty bandwagon, like so many others.

 

Otacon: A hunter?

Otacon: Like for... moose? 

 

He knew next to nothing about the great outdoors, but was suddenly taken with images of a rugged hunter, coming back to his cabin at the end of an excursion. He didn't have any idea what Snake looked like, so the sharp features of his avatar would have to suffice, although with more plaid than the average paladin usually wore.

  
  


SolidSnake: i didn't know there was a hunter class. i just kinda picked one that was familiar

SolidSnake: and even i'm not brave enough for moose. caribou and deer mostly.

SolidSnake: i fish too but anyone can fish

 

Otacon: Sounds pretty exciting. Surprised you didn't go for the Huntsman class, with all your real world experience.

Otacon: ^_~

 

SolidSnake: truth be told

SolidSnake: i read somewhere that sometimes people just have long convos here? meet up to talk?

SolidSnake: so if you ever want to just talk we can

SolidSnake: or we can just kill stuff, w/e

 

Girls liked that to hear that sort of thing, right? "I'm here to talk?" He hoped so.

 

Hal blinked. Snake seemed to have a talent for cramming a large amount of information into surprisingly few words. Or perhaps it was just Hal who was used to sifting through them for any hint of meaning.

But once again, Snake continued to surprise Hal. Talk? Most of the gamers he played with logged on to raid, collect treasure, and get the hell out of Dodge. Or “D'verdge”, as the case may be. He knew that striking up friendships in guilds and the like weren't uncommon, but as for first (or second) time encounters...

 

Hal was beginning to suspect Dave might actually enjoy having someone to just... talk to. He wasn't alone in that.

 

Otacon: That would be nice, actually.

Otacon: I mean, the boar quest is pretty fun and I enjoy smashing zombies as much as anyone...

Otacon: But yeah. It'd be great to talk.

 

Did that sound over eager?

 

Otacon: I'm not a bad listener either.

 

The paladin crouched, Dave's attempt at sitting.

 

SolidSnake: no sit. damn.

SolidSnake: i feel like we should be doing something while we talk i guess

SolidSnake: efficiency and stuff 

 

_ Cmon, Dave, you're smoother than this. _ There was no reason for him to be worried about what Otacon thought of him, a complete and faceless stranger, an entity online...but he did care. He cared enough to wish he'd chosen Huntsman and not looked like a complete fool.

 

He cared enough to hope Otacon didn't _ think  _ he was a fool.

 

Hal was learning more about Snake by the second, and enjoying every moment of it.

 

Otacon: Well... it's almost night time in game (and here- is it dark there yet?)

Otacon: There's a quest that's only available at night. Gathering berries in the Moonfields

Otacon: Not bad rewards either, but most people skip it because it's optional and kind of tedious

 

Hal didn't mention that'd he'd completed the quest multiple times on various accounts.

 

Otacon: But since you're not in danger of getting attacked or eaten...

Otacon: Could be just the place for a chat? ^_^

 

Hal went through the steps of accepting the quest and adding Snake to his party again, and soon they were off in the direction of the Moonfields, arriving just as the game's scenery darkened in an imitation of night.

 

Otacon: When you see a blue glow like this, just hit the button you normally would use to attack to pick the berry. 

Otacon: We need 500 to complete the quest, so it'll take a while, but we can come back to it later if you get bored.

 

The berries only sprouted a few at a time, and Hal waited to see that Snake had the hang of it before wandering around and striking up conversation again.

 

Otacon: So the hunting is more of a hunt-to-eat kind of thing? I can respect that. 

Otacon: I sure couldn't manage anything like that! 

Otacon: Guess I'll have to stick with apples and noodles.

 

Something stuck out in his mind and he scrolled up to re-read Snake's messages.

 

Otacon: You said something about a “familiar” class? So you’re a veteran gamer?

 

Dave laughed aloud at the notion of having played games like this before, but took quickly to the busywork Otacon had given him. Her naivete was charming, and her friendliness even moreso.

 

SolidSnake: oh hell no lol

SolidSnake: i just meant that the knight looked familiar from

SolidSnake: i dunno fairytales and stuff

 

Shit, he didn't want her to think he was dismissing the game. Maybe the truth would set him free.

 

SolidSnake: i picked up the game because i read it was a good social thing

SolidSnake: and it's not easy to be social when your best friends are about fifty dogs

 

SolidSnake: i mean they're great but they can't drink with me

SolidSnake: they're  always happy to be the dd though lol

  
  


That was... unexpected. It wasn't as though Hal imagined he was the only person who logged onto the game in hopes of garnering some semblance of a social experience- but he was a stock standard nerd, not some cool hunter guy in the wild north.

 

Then again, why should video games be the realm of solely geeks and otaku, anyway?

 

Otacon: Omg you're kidding right? How well trained are they?

Otacon: Or wait, do you mean like on a sled???

 

Snake was genuinely funny and seemed like a decent fellow- why shouldn't he have at least a few good friends? Hal didn't think it was his place to ask- but so far he'd been very giving with his information- and it had been his suggestion to talk, anyway.

 

Otacon: So, no hunting buddies then? Nights at the lodge?

Otacon: (Is that a real thing? Hunting lodges? You see them in movies.)

 

SolidSnake: hunting lodges are real

SolidSnake: but they're usually for people who have a lot of money and like to brag about trophies

SolidSnake: if there were any of that sort around, i would be the guy they hire to guide them

 

Dave tried to pace himself with the berries they gathered, suspicious that he might get autonomous and end the quest quicker than expected. After all, this new conversation was...nice.

 

SolidSnake: but yeah they're sled dogs

SolidSnake: i have my team of about 20 dogs in rotation. the others are pets and rescues.

 

About fifteen tries were made to communicate that one was a service animal, but Dave just kept typing and deleting the sentence over and over. There was no way to phrase it that didn't make him sound like an idiot.

 

SolidSnake: anyway i've said a lot about me

SolidSnake: what about you

SolidSnake: aside from apples and noodles? lol

 

So Dave was more of an Alaskan native then, huh? Maybe Hal's mental image wasn't too far off anyway. That was... really damn cool, actually.

 

Otacon: Me? Um. Not a lot to tell, really.

 

Well... nothing he told most people off the bat. He wanted to at least enjoy a little time before scaring them off.

 

Otacon: Mostly at my computer. A lot of gaming, but some work too.

Otacon: Programming, mostly. 

Otacon: I guess some stereotypes hold true! ^_^;;

 

Otacon: No dogs though! I can't believe you have so many! A whole team? And rescues?

Otacon: I've wanted a dog forever, but never worked it out. This apartment doesn't allow them.

Otacon: Dogs are just... so good, y'know? 

Otacon: What am I saying, of course you know. lol

 

Dave exhaled loudly. He'd wagered this girl to be intellectually out of his league already, but this? A programmer? He ran his hands down his face and grumbled about giving up, but something within him told him that maybe Otacon wasn't the type to judge. Maybe.

 

SolidSnake: whoa hang on

SolidSnake: programming?

SolidSnake: that's impressive otacon. especially if it's for work. is that what you do for a living?

SolidSnake: be a genius?

 

_ Man, I hope I'm not laying it on too thick. It really is impressive… _

  
  


Otacon: Oh. It's... not that big a deal, really!

Otacon: This city is full of code monkeys, haha.

Otacon: I wouldn't say I'm a genius...

 

Other people had though. Repeatedly. And not always in a good way- which is why Hal tended not to bring it up. He hoped Snake wouldn't be put off by their differences.

  
  


SolidSnake: thats a shame about the dog though

SolidSnake: they're really great for stress, which i imagine you have to a degree

SolidSnake: if you're in tech, anyway

 

Otacon: You're right, it can get pretty stressful.

Otacon: Deadlines.

Otacon: Wouldn't mind getting to come home to friendly face every day.

 

Dave tried not to mentally alert to the mention of not having a friendly face. He'd just started talking to her, but maybe...maybe this was his chance.

 

SolidSnake: i get that. if not for the dogs i would be alone too

SolidSnake: unless you don't live alone and i got that wrong

SolidSnake: or if you live alone but you have family or friends somewhere else

 

_ That's it, Dave, avoid "boyfriend." No reason to look creepy, or assume she dates men at all! _

 

SolidSnake: anyway

SolidSnake: i work from home and i'm off in the winter

SolidSnake: so you'll at least have this guy's face haha

 

The Paladin posed victoriously once more, and Dave gave serious consideration to the guide he'd read about purchasing a new emote pack.

 

While the "rugged outdoorsman" thing was infinitely cooler than Hal's "socially inept computer nerd" shtick, it sounded like Snake wasn't necessarily satisfied with his isolation.  Something Hal understood well.

 

Otacon: Yeah? 

Otacon: Looks plenty friendly to me. 

Otacon: Even if he's still got some trouble taking a seat.  ^_^

 

Hal paused, hands hovering over the keyboard. 

 

Otacon: It's just me at home. 

Otacon: What family I did have is either far away or, uh, gone.

 

_ Oh.  _ Dave realized he had struck a chord, and not a pleasant one. Perhaps it wasn't best to push this topic, and move along. He was always the guy people told secrets to, anyway, because he knew when they were done talking.

 

SolidSnake: i see

SolidSnake: i'm sorry for bringing it up

SolidSnake: didn't mean to dig up bad memories

 

_ Fuck. _ Lulls were natural in conversation, but Dave was begining to feel genuinely bad about hurting Otacon's feelings, even potentially, so he decided that it was best to just leave the topic behind completely.

 

SolidSnake: yeah on that topic though

SolidSnake: how in the fuck do you sit down?

SolidSnake: i only have about 5 actions in the menu and most of them are for battle?

 

SolidSnake: help me otacon!

SolidSnake: you're my only hope!

 

Hal snorted. Well at least they got movies up there in the snowy North.  And if Snake was making Star Wars references... well it wasn't a lot to go on, they were wildly popular movies after all, but it was oddly comforting.

 

Otacon: You use the force, obviously!

Otacon: jk jk.

Otacon: You have to type in the command. 

Otacon: Sitting isn't an emoji because it can trigger other options depending on where you do it

Otacon: sitting at a table in an inn might give you the option to join in some gambling

Otacon:sitting by a river opens up the option to fish 

Otacon: (hey maybe you'd be good at that! )

Otacon: But if we do it out here...

 

The cleric sat on the ground,  and with no enemies in the area,  the character stayed going through idle animations of sitting,  gently touching the ground and star gazing.

 

Otacon: Just kinda looks like we're hanging out.  See?

 

Dave gave the type command a try, and the Paladin plopped himself on the ground, one knee bent and one leg extended. Trouble was, he was also facing away from Otacon, so he had to try a couple times to adjust and get the positioning right. Eventually, though, he got it correct, and to anyone "passing by," they'd have looked like two comfortable companions resting for the night.

 

SolidSnake: well now that i've made an idiot out of myself

SolidSnake: this is nice

SolidSnake: kinda cozy actually

 

Hal laughed, a barely restrained snicker that was anything but dignified. Snake sure was trying his best, but the appearance of his trial and effort was hilarious.  At least he didn't get frustrated and log off, which was a big deal as far as Hal was concerned. 

 

He was really coming to like this “SolidSnake”.

 

Otacon: Cozy, huh?

A few more commands, a small amount of sacrificed mana, and soon a campfire sprung to life before them.

 

Otacon: Forgot the marshmallows tho. T_T

Otacon: Wait,  that's probably just kid stuff,  not real campfire food, huh?

 

Dave rifled through a few files in a different window, looking for something he thought Otacon might like, and then used his phone to find out how to send them.

 

**User SolidSnake has sent an attachment.**

 

SolidSnake: that's the northern lights

SolidSnake: winter has long nights here but the auroras make it worth it

 

SolidSnake: the area we're in reminded me of it

  
  


The computer pinged softly to let him know a file had arrived. Hal held his breath. It might be yet another unsolicited dick pic, although Snake didn't seem the type. A selfie could also be a problem, as they were usually followed by a request for one in return. 

 

He opened the file.

 

Otacon: Oh. Wow.  

Otacon: Wow!

Otacon: Did you take this?

 

SolidSnake: yeah i uh

SolidSnake: i used to date someone who was really into photography

SolidSnake: kept some old photos after we broke up

SolidSnake: bc they were so good lol, not for sentimental reasons

 

Kaz had been surly as hell, but he could take a damn good photograph. It still hurt a little bit, looking at the photos, but Dave had long since trained himself to appreciate the pictures for their content and not for the memories attached to them.

 

So Snake was into artistic types? And seemed to have an appreciation for art as well.

 

That definitely wasn't disappointment Hal felt. 

 

Otacon: That's incredible. 

Otacon: I can barely draw stick people, myself. 

 

SolidSnake: oh shit me neither haha

SolidSnake: my ex was just their own person, had a lot to deal with

SolidSnake: maybe that's why we broke up, i couldn't keep up

 

SolidSnake: also hey now don't diss the marshmallows, i love those things

SolidSnake: i like mine burnt though

SolidSnake: i am an unpopular campfire guest haha

 

SolidSnake: when the auroras come around it's usually too cold to be out and look at them for long

SolidSnake: but a nice fire and some good food like fresh fish or popcorn and sweets

SolidSnake: that would make anybody smile

 

_ You're rambling. Remember what the doctor said, allow other people time to reflect on the things you say. _

 

SolidSnake: you have some prime campground in washington too though

SolidSnake: camp much?

  
  


Otacon: I don't get out into nature very much

Otacon: I know I know

Otacon: All these parks and grounds in the state

Otacon: Just never went out as a kid.  Went to computer camp not camp camp

Otacon: I'd probably end up getting eaten by a bear @_@

 

That sounded a bit negative, didn't it? It wasn't that Hal couldn't appreciate the beauty of nature,  he'd just never been encouraged in that particular direction. 

 

Otacon: The way you describe it though...

 

Hal detested the cold,  bundled up in layers when the slightest chill hit the air. But he could almost imagine this fire was real, that the lights were above them, and he was warm, jackets and blankets piled high... and arm pulling him near...

 

Otacon: Sounds like fun

 

Otacon was getting cuter by the second, with her timid view of the outdoors to the way she'd been impressed with the picture of the auroras.

 

SolidSnake: it's a lot of fun if you're prepared for it

SolidSnake: sometimes tourists come and think they can handle the weather and then i have to take them back to their resorts

SolidSnake: i always tell people that if they can't take the cold, there's no shame in staying in by the fire

 

SolidSnake: it's what i do with my dogs when it's really cold out

 

_ Did I really just say that? _

 

SolidSnake: wow ok now i just sound lonely haha

 

Otacon: No! No, I mean...

Otacon: That sounds really great, actually.

Otacon: Fireplace, dogs at your feet, maybe a good book. 

Otacon: Hot cocoa? ^_^

 

Otacon: I'm sure all those tourists owe you their lives.

Otacon: I'd probably be in the same boat if I wasn't too much of a worrywart to go wandering in the snow.

 

The winter could be quite beautiful, but Hal had always been content to view it from the warmer side of the window. Though perhaps with a guide who knew what they were doing... being out in the snow might actually be fun. 

 

Snake seemed to have no problem talking about his exes, either, and unless Hal was reading things very incorrectly, there wasn't a current Mrs. Snake or anything, hence the dogs.

 

Otacon: Sounds like your ex had a lot of baggage 

Otacon: I think I know the type

 

_ You don't have to tell him it's you. _

 

Otacon: sometimes I think that's why I spend my time with computers

Otacon: I've never been much good with people

Otacon: Never know what to say, most of the time

 

SolidSnake: you're doing pretty good so far!

 

And Dave meant it, genuinely. Perhaps there was some great heartbreak in her past, or she was just insecure, but something shifted in Dave the moment he encouraged her in conversation. Otacon seemed a good soul; the twinge of compassion she sparked was more than a phantom of past feelings, for sure.

 

SolidSnake: i think being social is different from being a good person to talk to

SolidSnake: some of my best friends were the silent types yknow

SolidSnake: not me though. clearly i’ve got plenty to say

 

Otacon: Ahh... well it's easier when you're behind a keyboard. 

Otacon: More time to think about what you want to say, you always have that handy delete key.

Otacon: Never have to worry about having a piece of spinach in your teeth lol.

 

This was all true, of course- but Hal often had trouble keeping up in most chatrooms, often having a hard time finding a place to jump into the conversation. Forums were another arena entirely, and one where his comments and input were usually appreciated.

  
  


Perhaps a comfort level was being established? Dave tested the waters to see.

 

SolidSnake: so aside from code and the game

SolidSnake: what does the incredible otacon do for fun?

  
  


And speak of the devil... Snake was asking about hobbies? Perhaps it was okay to get into that... just a little.

 

Otacon: Well, the game can take up a lot of time if I let it...

Otacon: But you remember what I said before? About the 'otaku convention'

Otacon: An otaku is someone like me

Otacon: Someone who likes Japanese animation. Shows and movies.

Otacon: They're animated... but not just cartoons for kids! They can cover a lot of different themes and topics. Really, very interesting.

 

There was something a little rehearsed about the whole spiel, as though he'd given it many times before.

 

Otacon: But there are online communities dedicated to discussing these shows and such.

Otacon: Probably the same as for any movies. Star Trek. Star Wars? ^_^?

  
  


What were the damned chances of meeting a complete stranger who had even loose ties to Japan? Dave clucked to himself, amused...but the nagging memories of being taught Japanese in dark, tender moments were difficult to shake.

 

SolidSnake: i'm vaguely familiar with anime

SolidSnake: i know it can be a really detailed art form

SolidSnake: but i'm not well educated. i do speak japanese though.

 

A good quip, for both common ground and brownie points.

 

SolidSnake: do you have a favorite show?

 

Hal winced at the screen, feeling embarrassed. If Dave was fluent, then he'd made a bit of a fool of himself, hadn't he? Then again, he couldn't be faulted for not anticipating Snake's being acquainted with Japanese pop culture. 

 

Otacon: Oh, wow.

Otacon: I feel a little silly now, going on my little rant

Otacon: I'm just used to people thinking it's weird 

Otacon: But you speak Japanese? That's incredible! 

Otacon: Can you believe in all these years I've only picked up a few phrases?

Otacon: Tadaima! Arigatou gozaimasu! Aishiteru yo!

 

Hal made a soft sound of annoyance at himself.  In his eagerness he might have made a mistake with that last one.  Professions of love were usually reserved for shoujo series.

 

Otacon: I like shows about robots. 

Otacon: haha big surprise right? Gundam, Macross.

Otacon: But also movies like Robot Carnival and Casshern. Where the robots are almost people.

 

Otacon: maybe it makes me think I could understand them better

 

He didn't know why, but Dave found himself physically jotting down the names of the shows Otacon mentioned. Probably just so he wouldn't sound foolish in future chats.

 

SolidSnake: you know more japanese than most

SolidSnake: and it's kinda cute tbh

 

The first nail in the coffin. The first compliment.

  
  


Hal stared at the word 'cute' as though it was some sort of incomprehensible code. He recognized every letter in the word of course, but when put together in that particular configuration it was as though they made no sense. Not when applied to him, certainly.

 

It was one of the caveats of using a female avatar, he supposed- although a far cry from the usual 'tits or gtfo'... and Snake had made the comment regarding something that was... personal. And true, for that matter. It had nothing to do with the pastel haired beauty idling on the screen.

 

But maybe some things were 'cute' when you could imagine them being done but a beautiful woman somewhere far away.

 

The question was- how far should Hal let the misconception go? He genuinely liked Snake so it felt wrong lying to him- but he had a suspicion that blurting out the truth would net him nothing more than a 'SolidSnake has logged off' and another empty friend slot.

 

_ If he asks, I'll be honest. But until then... it's just a game, anyway.  _

 

He'd been silent a long time, he had to hurry and say something. 

 

Otacon: Sorry, got distracted for a second.

  
  


SolidSnake: i think working with robots would scare me

SolidSnake: but not like horror scared

SolidSnake: just unsettling

 

Dave pondered for a moment, then beamed at his keyboard.

 

SolidSnake: but i suppose that makes you brave AND understanding, eh?

  
  


Otacon: I can hardly imagine a little robot scaring the likes of the soon-to-be-legendary SolidSnake!

 

Otacon: I'm... not really that brave though. Or understanding. Not yet.

Otacon: But I want to be.

 

Dave, in Otacon's silence, had moved about to pick more of the quest berries, but immediately returned upon her conversing again. She'd called him legendary...well...even potentially legendary. How many people had said that? Said he would be a legendary leader like his father? The word usually rang bitter in his ears, but from her honest and disembodied words, Dave almost believed it.

 

She'd opened up a bit, as people do when their conversations are faceless, and she believed herself to be "in progress," it seemed.

 

SolidSnake: y'know someone v wise told me once that if you are aware of your flaws

SolidSnake: and you work with them and not through them

SolidSnake: you'll find yourself at your goals in twice the time

 

Thanks, Kazuhira, you drunk old bastard.

 

SolidSnake: and hey even legends get scared sometimes!

SolidSnake: cut a guy some slack will ya lol

 

Dave ruminated on telling her that he was entirely familiar with fear and cowardice, but he opted to wait, see if this was a topic that Otacon wished to continue.

  
  


This was getting pretty...deep, especially for a second-time conversation over a cooperative fetch-quest. And yet, Hal didn't find it uncomfortable, and it was infinitely preferable than trying to bare his soul to someone face to face.

 

Otacon: Well... I'm nothing if not intimately aware of my flaws. ^_^;;

 

That was a conversation killer, wasn't it? Better to help move things along.

 

Otacon: It sounds like your friend had a good head on their shoulders.

Otacon: Must have been nice to have someone like that in your life.

  
  


SolidSnake: i guess it was yeah

SolidSnake: he's passed now. shame too. 

SolidSnake: probably turning cartwheels in hell, as grumpy as that bastard was.

 

He was the  _ Hell _ master, after all.

  
  


Otacon: It would be nice to learn some actual conversational Japanese, something that didn't have to do with androids, maybe ^^

Otacon: That way if I ever traveled there, I could speak the language.

Otacon: Have you ever been?

  
  


SolidSnake: i was stationed in okinawa for a little while

SolidSnake: torii station

SolidSnake: but no more active duty for me

 

Dave was careful with information about his military history. The army had not been kind to him, particularly his mental health, and there was no reason to sabotage a perfectly good meeting with a reasonably-distanced girl with talks of PTSD. So, he dropped enough information to pique interest, but hopefully not too much for questions.

 

SolidSnake: what about you? ever been to japan?

 

Otacon: Only in my dreams!

Otacon: It can be difficult, saving up for a trip like that.

Otacon: And I'd want to bring back a truck load of souvenirs heh, ^_^;;

Otacon: the closest I’ve come is the “pretty decent” ramen place down the street from my apartment

 

Otacon: ...Which may or may not have played into my decision when choosing a place to live.

 

Hal went back over the things Snake had said about his friend. Er, mentor? Father, possibly? It was hard to tell, but the way Snake had quickly turned the conversation back to Hal implied he was done with the topic for now.

 

Otacon: Okinawa huh? I hear that place is kind of a crazy fusion of cultures. East meets West

Otacon: But I'm sure it was still plenty different from home

Otacon: Haha, for all my daydreaming, I wonder if I wouldn't get a little homesick, being away for so long 

 

Otacon: but it's probably easier to manage if you're surrounded by friends and people you trust

 

SolidSnake: yeah. unit gets to be like a family

SolidSnake: and okinawa is pretty cool. i didn't get to see much of it, i was busy with work.

SolidSnake: but what i did see was nice

 

Otacon: A family? Oh, that sounds nice...

 

Hal stared in horror at the words he'd typed without thinking.

 

Otacon: Oh... Shit I'm sorry

Otacon: That probably sounds really ignorant, doesn't it. You guys were all busting your asses and risking your necks

Otacon: Not like you were at summer camp or something 

 

Dave didn’t comment, though- lost as he was in his own thoughts.

 

_ What next, Dave? You've rattled on about yourself and learned that she's smart and likes robots. What else is there?  _

 

SolidSnake: so you said you've been playing the game for a while?

SolidSnake: what other characters do you have?

  
  


Hal jumped on the opportunity, eager to move on from his faux pas. Of course listing every character he'd ever played- not all of them cute, charming mage girls- could get a little tricky...

 

Otacon: Oh, there have been several, mostly magic users.

Otacon: A few different mages that I tried to take down different specialization paths, offensive spells, mostly

Otacon: Fireballs. Pew pew! ^_^

 

Otacon: I did try a tank once. Big bull of a character with melee weapons. A little slow for my liking.

Otacon: But I'm liking the cleric life. 

Otacon: They're useful in a group and people like having them around. ^_^;;

 

SolidSnake: pretty sure i would like having you around no matter what

 

Dave smiled to himself, confident that this was a good start to flirting. Not over the top, not too serious, just a nice little intro to sell his personality a bit better.

 

SolidSnake: you're smart, funny, and interesting

SolidSnake: plus i’m glad youre on my team or you'd be kicking my ass

 

Hal sputtered into his soda as he read Snake's reply. It was complimentary, to be sure- but he wasn't imagining the tone of things, was he? SolidSnake was definitely a flirt.

 

_ And not a bad one _ , either- Hal mused.

 

It probably wasn't a good idea to let this go too far, but for now Hal found himself soaking up every last word of encouragement.

 

Otacon: Th-thanks. Ha. I mean it.

Otacon: Usually nobody gives me much more than a 'thx for the heal'

Otacon: It's... kind of nice

Otacon: To be appreciated. I mean. ^_^;;

  
  


The clock told Dave he should sleep, but something about Otacon kept him intrigued. She was fascinating, and he wished she would open up more about herself. Still, there was plenty of time to get attached.

 

SolidSnake: oh btw i don't want to keep you awake, i know it's late here

SolidSnake: but i'm hopeless without you

SolidSnake: so whenever you want to log off just let me know

  
  


Hal checked the time himself, late, yes, by laymen's standards, but he was nothing if not a night owl. He hesitated for a moment, but decided there was no harm in being honest about his habits.

 

Otacon: To be honest, I don't exactly keep regular hours, even when I'm not gaming.

Otacon: The quiet can be...comforting? I guess?

Otacon: Not in danger of getting in anyone's way. Easier to get work done.

 

Otacon: To be honest, I'd be more worried about keeping you up.

Otacon: I'm sure the dogs don't let you sleep in!

  
  


Dave couldn't help but enjoy her consideration for his own schedule, and how she seemed to truly appreciate his comment. Still, it would probably be best to take it easy on the flirting for a bit.

 

SolidSnake: nah you're welcome to keep me up anytime

 

Or. Maybe not.

 

It was sent before Dave could think better of it, and he made a frustrated grunt that earned a confused whine from his service dog. Still...fixing it might cause more harm than good....

 

Back in Seattle, an entirely undignified squawk escaped Hal and he covered his mouth too late, even if there was no one around to hear. It was probably just as well they weren't using microphones to communicate. Not that he ever did- it was too easy to ruin the 'illusion' of it all, and he found himself slow to speak aloud most of the time anyway.

 

SolidSnake: i've run on way less sleep

SolidSnake: i'll just take care of the dogs and then go back to bed in the morning lol

SolidSnake: or maybe grab a cup of coffee and come back to see my favorite cleric

  
  


Otacon: Well as your resident health care provider, it would be irresponsible of me not to encourage you to get a full eight hours. 

 

Did... Snake not want to leave? For some reason? Was it just that he was happy to find someone to talk to or did he genuinely like Hal? (Or at least the probably-cute-girl he imagined Hal to be?) Hal wasn't new to late-night online conversations, and there was something kind of 'magic' about meeting someone new... he'd had plenty of 5am chats, and knew as well as anyone that it could be hard to recapture the same lightning in a bottle a second time. Was that what Snake was worried about?

 

Or was he just a kind of lonely, but decent and friendly guy?

 

Either way...

 

Otacon: You really should take care of yourself, though.

Otacon: I'd hate to think my insomnia was contagious ^_^;;

 

Otacon: Don't worry though. You do what you have to do to keep yourself going.

Otacon: I'll always be here.

Otacon: Or at least never be far away!

 

Otacon seemed genuine in her promise to be around, and someone of her ilk was likely to still be gaming by the time he came back around in the morning.

 

SolidSnake: okok, you win

SolidSnake: night, otacon

 

**User SolidSnake has logged off.**

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Dave spent the night thinking of her, and every night after that for the next couple of weeks. His days became far more enjoyable with Otacon to fill his time, and his therapists agreed that the social interaction was healthy for him. Dave was on top of the world for once, and the cautious voice telling him that this mood would not last was finally worth ignoring.

 

Otacon was everything he enjoyed in a person, and he admittedly found himself falling for her rather quickly. She was lovely, kind and gentle. He encouraged her when he could, and complimented her frequently- things he wagered she did not often receive in real life.

 

By now, Dave and Otacon had a friendly routine, and he had become much more skilled both grammatically and concerning game play . Today, he logged in and sent her an IM to flag her down.

 

He had big news.

 

The last several weeks had been interesting for Hal as well. While he was prone to remaining online for stretches of time for no other reason than a lack of other things to fill his day, he now found himself looking forward to the familiar 'ping' alerting him to his friend's presence. Actually, he'd taken to spending a little more time away from his computers, venturing out even in the daylight from time to time, if only so he'd have something to share with Snake the next time they spoke.

 

And slowly, he shared tales of the coffee shops and cafes in the neighborhood. Notable dogs at the park, bizarre vegetables he'd dared to try at the market. Funny how an interaction in the virtual world had encouraged him to go and explore more of his own.

 

He really, genuinely liked Snake, and not just for the kind words he shared as though it was the most natural thing in the world. He appreciated having someone who wanted to talk- and listen, someone who wanted to share a little part of their lives with him, as though he was someone worth sharing with at all. It still baffled him at times, but it was too heady a feeling to walk away from.

 

As if he could simply leave. 

 

He'd made a promise after all.

 

**User SolidSnake has logged in.**

 

SolidSnake: Otacon, I can see you’re online, hurry up and answer me

SolidSnake: I have something to tell you!

  
  


Otacon: Hey! I'm here! ^^/

Otacon: Stepped away to grab a drink.

Otacon: What's the big news? You get the new update?

 

SolidSnake: Fuck, I didn't even see that there was an update

SolidSnake: You know I'm fucking hopeless about that stuff

SolidSnake: No, it's much bigger! Drumroll, please!

 

Dave drummed his fingers on his desk for a moment, somehow just convinced that Otacon would be doing the same.

 

Hal had no idea what could have prompted such a show of unbridled enthusiasm from his friend, but it seemed to merit a light tapping of his index fingers on the edge of his laptop. He hoped Snake would somehow feel them all the way back in Alaska- could almost imagine the smile on his face, even if it was one he'd never seen.

 

SolidSnake: I'M COMING TO SEATTLE!

 

He laughed aloud at his own news, prompting a victorious bark from one of his dogs.

 

SolidSnake: One of my specialists moved her office close enough that I can see her in person now

SolidSnake: So I thought I'd let you know!

 

_ Do it, you've been flirting around, just ask her. _

 

SolidSnake: And no pressure, obviously, but maybe while I'm there, ah

SolidSnake: I can take you out?

SolidSnake: For dinner?

  
  


And then it all came to a crashing halt. Reality- as it did, had finally caught up to Hal.

 

Otacon: Oh. Wow!

Otacon: That's really exciting news, and I'm happy to hear about your specialist. I bet she's going to love the city.

 

What now? Snake had asked a very clear question and there was no denying that 'take you out to dinner' was date talk. And once again, Hal felt like his old self, at a loss for words, unsure what to say, positive that anything would make things worse.

 

It wasn't that he was afraid of meeting people from his online dealings. He'd gone to plenty of anime club meetups, run into forum pals at conventions, and that had all gone relatively well, if without much comment. Few of them kept in contact long after that, but he tried not to take it personally.

 

But... this was Snake. Easily his best friend of the last several years, even though they'd known each other such a short while. And even if he knew they couldn't ever be... what Snake seemed to want them to be (and Hal kind of did to- he'd finally admitted to himself) he wanted Snake to like him. Actually, really like him. As he was.

 

Of course it was his fault for not being entirely honest from the start, and he hated himself for it.

 

Otacon: That's um. Wow ^_^;; Really?

 

He could lie, of course. Say his schedule wouldn't work out. Say he'd be out of town. Say he was really just an elaborate chatbot without a corporeal form.

 

Otacon: Can I... have a little time to think about it?

 

Or he could stall.

 

That was a "no," Dave knew it well enough. And of course it was fair. After all, he did know precious little about Otacon's past, whereas he'd spilled his guts about everything that had ever happened to him in the military.

 

_ She knows you're damaged goods. Maybe she's scared of you flipping out over nothing. Nobody wants to be around a fucking psycho. _

 

SolidSnake: Of course!

SolidSnake: I won't be in town for a couple months anyway, appointment is 2 months away.

SolidSnake: And I get it, meeting people online is risky, so if you don't want to that's really ok.

 

Dave was more hurt than he realized, but his urge to be angry with Otacon quickly fizzled. He couldn't be upset with her for having doubts, and how many people had asked him for time or space, anyway? The fault was not with her.

 

_ It's with you. _

 

SolidSnake: Ah, but let's not let things get awkward yeah?

SolidSnake: Don't we have a gryphon to slay or something today?

  
  


There it was.

 

That change in tone that would have been imperceptible to someone who hadn't witnessed it countless times. The promise that everything was fine and nothing was going to change- and yet Hal had logged on so many "morning afters" to see his friend list had grown just a little bit shorter.

 

Otacon: Yeah, it's the first day the quest has been available. I've heard good things. 

 

He rubbed his eyes behind his glasses, not entirely surprised to find them wet.

 

_ And? This is your own doing, you realize. Snake has been nothing but kind and honest with you since the day you met and he probably thinks you think he's some kind of creep for the grave sin of wanting to meet you. Not that there's much to meet.  _

 

Despite knowing he'd fucked up, he couldn't stand the idea that Snake might be angry with him. Disappointment he could tolerate, after all Snake would likely have been disappointed with a face to face meeting even if Hal had been upfront about who he was. But maybe he could get Snake to accept his friendship as some kind of... consolation prize? 

 

Otacon: You should look into the update. There's a few glitch patches. No more accidentally triggering the swimming animation when you try to climb trees!

Otacon: And they've added creatures. Familiars for the magic types and mounts and hunting companions as well!

Otacon: Bet your Paladin would look great on a stallion!

 

They'd made it to the quest check point, but before Hal moved to accept it he had to say just one thing more, otherwise he would never be able to focus, and the only thing that could make things worse at this point was him failing in his role within the game world to boot.

 

Otacon: You should tell me when you're coming to town.

 

Otacon: I might be able to recommend some local events, restaurants? That kind of thing?

Otacon: There's a tiny hole in the wall place near me, I've started going there almost every day 

Otacon: It's cheap, but tasty. 

Otacon: And it helps me meet my social interaction quota for the day. ^^

  
  


Dave paused. Maybe... She did want to meet? Or maybe she was just getting comfortable with the idea? Either way, it appeared Otacon was extending a gesture of goodwill, and Dave was not about to deny it. He quickly sent her the dates for his trip, an unfortunately short 3-day span from a Monday to a Wednesday.

 

SolidSnake: I know it's not ideal, but you know how doctors are about working on weekends lol

SolidSnake: And I do love both cheap and tasty meals, for sure.

 

He waited for Otacon to accept the quest and they embarked on the way to their goal, but he was so relieved at her turnaround, he felt the need to...elaborate?

 

SolidSnake: Gotta be honest, for a second there, I was worried you were gonna tell me to get lost.

SolidSnake: Sorry if I came on a little strong, didn't mean to scare you

 

_ Don't do it. Don't you fucking say it. _

 

SolidSnake: I just

SolidSnake: I really like you.

 

_ Idiot. _

  
  


_ Oh. Just like that, then? _

 

Hal didn't say anything for a while, keeping his hands firmly on the mouse as he guided his character across the screen, not trusting himself to navigate these tricky waters in which he'd dove head first. He couldn't let the silence go on too long though, Snake had been absolutely clear about his intentions and his fears. It wasn't fair for Hal to keep quiet just because he was worried about getting hurt.

 

Besides, even if he did, it was no worse than he deserved. But hurting  _ Snake _ \- that would be damn unforgivable.

 

Otacon: I

Otacon: I really like you too, Snake

 

Otacon: You're the first person I've ever met here, or anywhere really that I felt like I could talk to

Otacon: Or who made me feel like I had something worth saying, for that matter

 

Otacon: I didn't mean to...

 

No, that wasn't quite right.

 

Otacon: Actually, I... I want to meet you too

 

Snake had been absolutely honest at great personal risk to his own pride and dignity, Hal could try and meet him halfway at the very least.

 

Otacon: I'm just um.  A little... scared I guess.

 

_ Fuck no. That was the wrong thing to say. _

 

Otacon: Not of you! Sorry, that came out wrong.

 

Otacon: I've just had some less-than-great experiences in the past.

Otacon: Turned out I wasn't what the other person was expecting and...

 

Otacon: I just don't want to lose you like that.

  
  


_ Holy fuck. Holy fuck?? _

 

_ Holy. Fuck. _

 

The idea that Dave had managed to interest someone to this degree, someone as smart as Otacon, was. Wow. Beyond him, truly.

 

SolidSnake: You won't lose me

SolidSnake: Thick as thieves, right? Remember?

SolidSnake: Worst case scenario is that we meet and don't hit it off, and we stay friends.

 

_ Worst case scenario is that she's an axe murderer, really; but you can fight off one girl. _

 

SolidSnake: I only expect you to be who you've been this past month or so

SolidSnake: The best companion a guy could ask for.

 

SolidSnake: How about, for the sake of mystery, we set a restaurant and a date? And we'll, I dunno, wear a certain color or something.

SolidSnake: No pre-conceived notions or opinions

 

SolidSnake: Now, you ready to go kick some ass with me?

 

Dave's paladin struck his signature victory pose, but this time with far more flair indicative of his higher level. Otacon was with him, even in this fantasy world, and the feeling of companionship empowered him in reality.

  
  


Otacon: Of course. Anytime.

 

Hal was outright crying now, graceless globs of tears making their way down his face faster than he could wipe them away. He... had a chance now. Maybe. Not for the kind of relationship he quietly wished for late at night when both he and Snake had logged off to return to their respective realities- but for a continued friendship at least. And that alone was more than he'd ever realistically hoped for.

 

But this was not the time for reality. There were Gryphons to battle, trolls to outwit and treasure to collect and share. This latest mission required a certain amount of cleverness and teamwork to solve the lair's puzzles, but as always, Snake was willing to listen to his suggestions and the two made it to the final boss.

 

Otacon: Hey. Wait a second.

 

He squinted at the screen.

 

Otacon: This look strange to you? The Gryphon?

 

It was easy to miss, the huge creature stomping and kicking up clouds and whirlwinds they had to be quick to avoid.

 

Otacon: Usually big creatures like this, they fire off a few ranged attacks before charging. But look, he's staying put.

 

Otacon: These whirlwinds are pretty weak, too.

 

He took one straight on to prove the point, taking only a small amount of damage.

  
  


SolidSnake: Hell yeah! An easy target!

SolidSnake: Or do you think the game is bugged?

 

Dave and Otacon had run into a few such bugs, but nothing quite as obvious as this development. Plus, she had mentioned an available update, perhaps the gryphon was just an incorrect pile of data.

 

SolidSnake: If it's that weak, I can take it out on my own, probably

SolidSnake: But I'm gonna need a buff from you.

 

SolidSnake: Unless you have a better idea?

SolidSnake: You are the old veteran at this, after all

  
  
  


Otacon: I'm not sure this is a glitch... hold your attack for just a bit

Otacon: Look over here, there's another target!

 

Sure enough, if Hal walked his character close enough to the largely-immobile Gryphon, another option was available.

 

Otacon: I thought this was just armor or something, but now that I look at it- maybe these are chains?

Otacon: I think there's more to this quest than meets the eye.

  
  
  


Dave held back, circling the game camera around to keep an eye on the larger battlefield and shielding Otacon when he could.

 

SolidSnake: Maybe we have to break the chain?

SolidSnake: I don't really know how we would do that....

SolidSnake: but what happens if it gets loose and attacks? We'll have to be ready for that possibility.

 

Dave felt personally invested in this quest, and in the safety of Otacon's fantasy representation...but he told himself this was not projection, this was just immersion.

 

SolidSnake: Your call, Otacon.

SolidSnake: I've got your back.

  
  
  


**User: Otacon has healed your party for 50 points!**

 

**User: Otacon has healed your party for 50 points!**

 

**User: Otacon has cast 'Iron Clad'**

 

Otacon: I wager if it does attack, we'll be facing some wind spells meant to knock us off our feet. This should help.

Otacon: I recommend moving until you can highlight the chains and then attack, but be careful not to strike the Gryphon

Otacon: I'll stay behind you and keep casting just in case you take damage!

 

It was strange- this was just another dungeon, another quest like any other. But Hal felt a deep determination to prove himself now. Snake had said he was a good companion, and he had two months to fill that role to the best of his ability, starting now.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Fuck. She is so cute. _

 

Dave chose the "I Understand" speech/emote for his paladin, who gave Otacon's mage a nod and a lift of his sword.

 

Navigating the battlefield proved tricky, as Dave tried to take as little damage as possible...and failed miserably. He was thankful in this moment that Otacon was with him, and the scenario of Otacon-less stress and frustration was something he found himself laughing away. Of course she was here. Why wouldn't she be?

 

_ She probably won't be once she meets you, psycho. _

 

The falter in his thoughts resulted in heavy damage from the swat of a wing, and his paladin fell backwards and was temporarily immobilized from the force.

 

SolidSnake: fuck fuck fuck

SolidSnake: this thing is gonna kill me

 

He hated how quickly his own frustration grew at the game, saw his character's movements becoming erratic as the paladin regained his feet. Telling, though, was Luka's chin on his thigh with a soft whine. Her alert to his erratic shift in mood, her grounding mechanism.

  
  


It was clear the two of them were struggling, between Hal's uncertainty about how to proceed, and Snake's relative inexperience with complicated maneuvers. Hal's second monitor seemed to beckon with the promise of FAQs and tips, all uploaded to the game's forums within minutes of the quest's release, but he refused to give in to the temptation.

 

They could figure this out on their own.

 

Otacon: I've got you! 

  
  


The battle took longer than it should have, Dave knew, but he broke the gryphon's chain at long last, and withstood a couple of follow-up struggles thanks to Otacon's spell. Dave leaned back in his seat and sighed heavily, attempting to bring himself to the reality that this was a computer game, and anger would do him little good.

  
  
  


Of course, the two of them were rebuffed for their trouble, the Gryphon leaving the canyon in a flurry of wind attacks that might have sapped less prepared adventurers, killing them and sending them back to the last save point. But Hal wasn't about to let that happen.

 

**User: Otacon** has healed the party 100 HP

  
  


SolidSnake: Fucking Christ

SolidSnake: Thanks for the buff, though, you really saved my ass

SolidSnake: Good loot?

  
  


Sure enough a considerable haul waited for them where the feathery beast had just been.

 

Otacon: I'll say! Take a look at this!

 

A decent pile of gold and items, including some Gryphon feathers Hal knew would come in handy on some apothecary fetch quests, but that was hardly the most eye-catching drop.

 

Otacon: I'd say this would suit a certain heroic Paladin just fine.

 

It was an entire set of armor, better than Snake's across the board by several points. And it looked pretty damn cool to boot, with trimming in gold and lapis blue.

 

Otacon: Maybe the big guy wasn't all bad after all, huh? ^_~

Otacon: You should try it on!

  
  


Some fumbling through his own haze of emotional stress allowed Dave to regain control of the game, equipping the armor and eliciting a wry little smile. It did look good on him, that was for sure.

 

SolidSnake: It does look pretty nice!

SolidSnake: Couldn't have done it without you.

 

_ What else do you say, Dave? Tell her you're  not in the mood for any more quests? That you're tired and all you want to do is hit something and cry? _

 

SolidSnake: Hey, I'm gonna log off for a little while

SolidSnake: Luka is acting funny and I need to make sure she's ok

 

_ She's gonna think you're ghosting. _

 

SolidSnake: In case I don't come back today, here's my number. You're welcome to text me.

SolidSnake: Anytime.

 

Dave typed in the digits and closed the game screen, knowing full well he might have just cut off any more chance of a relationship with Otacon. He couldn't stay in his head any longer, though. How he wished he could log out of his own mind.

 

**User: SolidSnake has logged off.**

  
  


Hal stared at the screen for a bit, his avatar now standing alone in the final room of the dungeon, Snake's paladin having vanished after equipping the armor and saying goodbye. It had happened so quickly, the chain of events was hard to sort out, even with a chat log right in front of him.

 

_ You fucked it up, Hal. Again. You weren't honest to begin with and now he's figured that out and he doesn't think he can trust you. Can you blame him? _

 

But Snake had given him his actual, real world phone number and invited him to text him. That was different. Hal found himself scribbling it down, despite the fact that he wasn't sure when he'd have the guts to use it.

 

He teleported back to the nearest town, logging the quest as completed and milled about, but struggled to find anything that held his interest. Bulletin boards asking for healers and tanks failed to grab his attention and he ignored the occasional greetings and friend's requests from strangers.

 

**User: Otacon has logged off**

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Hal stared down at his phone and the number he'd finally added to his contacts not two days prior. It was strange, perhaps, to have the name "Snake" in there- stranger still when it was one of only half a dozen numbers total.

 

He hadn't used it yet, hadn't built up the nerve. But he also hadn't found himself interested in logging back onto the game- and wondered if Snake himself had returned, was waiting for him. It wasn't fair to run away but Hal still felt guilty for misleading one of the kindest and best people he'd ever met.

  


Dave, however had gone for a walk, then come back and hooked up his sled. The dogs were a tangle of excited yodeling and yapping, tangling their lines and playfully wrestling as he loaded Luka into a seated bundle.

 

He urged the dogs onward and top speed until he'd found a suitable place, and he camped.

 

Dave fished for a while, prepared a meal for himself and his dogs, and pitched a warm tent for the evening--all the while painfully milling through thoughts of social anxiety and rejection.

 

The solitude did little to clear his mind, and the silence of his phone only increased his doubts. He'd blown a good thing before it ever managed to get started.

 

Then, the next morning. An alert.

  


>>Hey. It's Otacon. Is this the right number? Hi. ^^

  


Dave's blue eyes scanned the message frantically, reading it over and over again in an attempt to make himself believe this was real. She'd texted him. After his bizarre meltdown and abrupt disappearance, here she was.

  


||Hey! Yep, it's Snake. Thought you'd forgotten about me for a minute there.

  


Hal hated himself for his cowardice, knowing it wasn't fair to disappear from the game and then wait as long as he had to send a message. But he wasn't sure what he should even say, words suddenly much more difficult without an artistic rendering of a beautiful girl so serve as a convenient delivery system.

 

>>Oh, great. Sorry I took so long to get back to you, things here have been kind of busy.

 

>>And I guess- if I'm being honest, I was a little- not scared but...

>>Ah, it's so different. This is the real world!

>>We're that much closer.

 

||Yeah. Closer. I like that.

 

And he did, sitting in the brisk afternoon air with his back to his sled, dogs playing and digging through the packed snow. There was nowhere he'd rather be than closer to Otacon.

 

Raising the phone camera to eye level, Dave took a picture of the Alaskan landscape before him and sent it off to his...well...what was she? Girlfriend seemed presumptive, but friend didn't quite cut it. Dave shrugged, and reordered his thoughts. He'd sent Otacon a real-time snapshot of his life.

 

||Pretty nice, huh?

||You should come visit sometime.

 

Hal felt his heart pounding hard in his chest as he stared at the picture. The real world. And getting more real every moment. It was a stunning picture, not unlike the others Snake had sent him of Alaska's untamed beauty- but somehow it was different now. A cellphone photo, snapped on the spur of the moment in real time.

 

What if Snake sent a photo of himself?

 

What if he asked for one in return?

 

>>Oh. Wow. "Nice" doesn't cut it. That's stunning. Your back yard, huh? ^_~

 

>>Honestly, I think I'd really like that.

>>Maybe... after you come to town.

>>If you're still open to the idea.

 

Maybe it was okay to start with small truths and work up to the big ones.

 

|| I can't think of a single reason that I wouldn't be open to seeing you again

||And we haven't even met the first time yet! lol

 

One of the dogs suddenly barreled over and licked his face, startling him and bringing to mind how warm his face actually was now.

 

Dave sent another picture, of the dogs playing, though the blurriness in the background made him frown.

 

||The black and white one is Luka. She's the closest to me.

||In fact, she'll be with me when I visit!

 

_No need to play the service dog card quite yet._

  


_Well you might think of a few when we do..._ Hal mused to himself, trying not to think too hard about it. He'd rather focus on the messages he was receiving, and pictures besides. Soon he was rewarded with a closeup of wet noses and large dark eyes.

 

>>She's beautiful. Oh!

>>I can't wait to meet her!

 

So... it was agreed then. Hal wasn't sure how it had happened but... they were going to meet in roughly two months time. Two months to either do the decent thing and explain himself or...

 

...or just hope Snake would understand when the time came.

 

>>I'll have to get her something special to thank her for making the trip. ^_^

 

||She can't wait to meet YOU

 

He paused, contemplating, forever mulling over words and meanings and contexts, before adding:

 

|| I...

|| Can't wait to meet you, either.

 

He thought of Otacon, beautiful and shy, but running into his arms and kissing him full on the mouth with a smile of her own. It was torture to not ask for a picture of her, or to send one of himself; but they'd agreed on organic reaction.

 

To take his mind off the ever-growing possibilities, Dave posed an open question to Otacon.

 

||Are you excited for the visit??? c:

  


This was... getting to be more difficult than he’d originally thought. Snake was always friendly, charming even- but now there was this undeniable enthusiasm Hal could read in every message. He hated it.

 

Every word reminded him that somewhere in the wide wilderness of Alaska, was a good man with a good heart, who was staring at some of the most stunning natural beauty the continent had to offer- and he was wasting his time thinking about some beautiful young thing who... didn't exist.

 

And Hal was too damn selfish to say anything. Wanted to draw out every second of the next sixty days because after that, one way or another, it would be over.

 

>>I am. I-

>>I really want to show you the city, the bits of it I know anyway.

>>It's kind of silly, I keep filing away little bits of information, places I want to take you, restaurants you might like.

 

That was true, at least. Hal's desk was currently a collage of post-its and receipts, hasty notes scribbled and circled as he worked out a veritable itinerary for Snake's visit. And several more days worth besides.

 

>>I mean, I know you are coming to see your doc and everything! I don't want to take up more time than you have of course

>>It's just...

>>I think about you smiling at me.

>>Maybe

>>Holding my hand?

 

Hal gaped at his phone in horror, wondering why he'd pressed send- letting those words out in the open.

 

_Because they're the truth, idiot._

 

Dave stared in disbelief, for what must have been a full minute, then jumped to his feet so quickly, the dogs started.

 

A loud whoop of victory escaped him, out into the snowy, peaceful tundra where it echoed into the distance with all the abandon he felt. He hadn't shouted so loudly since...well, since he'd been in love the first time.

 

Dave allowed himself to fall backwards into the frigid powder, fur-lined parka hood shielding his ears from the packed cold but not the ecstatic heat that tipped them.

 

Fishing his phone from his pocket and holding it above his head, Dave texted back joyfully.

 

||Nothing would make me happier.

||You can show me anything you want, and hold my hand as long as you want.

||And you know...a kiss or two wouldn't be the worst thing ever....

 

_Oof. Maybe that was too far...but now it's too late._

  


There it was. The thing Hal had been dreading and yet- somehow hoping for. Actual, real verbal confirmation that Snake was... invested. Emotionally connected, just like he was- except Snake had no idea about who Hal really was.

 

Sure, Hal had told him about school, and work. About feeling isolated from his family and how he had nightmares sometimes about his father dying. He'd talked about how much he wanted a dog and how terrible he was at cooking.

 

And all these things probably seemed perfectly charming, cute even, if you imagined they were coming from a lovely lady. But from a gawky, basement pale nerd? Hardly.

 

>>Snake?

>>I...

 

This might be the end of it but... better now than later.

 

>>I have to be honest.

 

Hal winced as his fingers tapped frantically at his phone's keyboard, struggling to get the words out before tears clouded his vision.

 

>>I

>>I'm not... you know...

>> Not a pretty girl.

  


"Not a pretty girl? What's she mean?"

 

Luka couldn't answer of course, but she did grumble when Dave stood and brushed some snow off into her face.

 

"Maybe she just doesn't think she's pretty. But we don't care about that, do we guys? No. No, we don't."

 

He ruffled a few squishy dog faces before sitting on the sled and replying.

 

||Otacon- I don't care what you look like.

||Believe me when I say, I don't date people based on their appearances.

 

Pondering how to continue, Dave decided that for once in his life, he was just going to be honest.

 

||You're a beautiful person. I know that.

||That's all that matters to me.

  


There was no stopping it now. Large, graceless tears were already making their way down Hal's face as he shook in his seat, phone gripped tightly in his hands.

 

He stared at the words, both exactly the right and wrong thing for Snake to say. Hal knew it was stupid, to read too far into the phrasing and convince himself that things would be okay, that Snake wouldn't turn around and walk away the moment they met.

 

_So let me have this time now._

 

>>I really want to believe that. ^_^

 

And he did, more than anything.

 

>>But it's okay, I mean...

>>I'll understand. Whatever you decide.

 

>>For now though... is it okay to enjoy things the way they are?

 

Dave couldn't fathom why Otacon thought she was so unbearable, but something about it made her even more charming. She was insecure, and maybe it had to do with her appearance; but if Dave could make a home with Miller, he could forge a relationship with Otacon.

 

||Enjoy things the way they are, because I don't see them changing.

||You don't understand how long I've been trying to find someone who understands me as well as you do. That alone makes you perfect.

  


||And-

||Well- Can I call you mine? If I agree that you're free to change your mind after we meet?

  


Hal sputtered, trying to draw himself to some kind of sense as he read over Snake's message again and again. Perfect? Hardly. He knew he was a bundle of bad habits and niche interests held together with caffeine and hope. But Snake had this way of making him feel like he was better than that. Like he really _was_ something special.

 

Why wouldn't he want to be his? Even if it was only for now.

 

_I won't throw it in his face. When he sees he's wrong. This now... This is good._

 

>>I think I'd like that.

>>It's... been a long time. Since I was anyone's.

>>And never anyone like you.

  


||Someone like me?

||If there's anyone on earth who stands as an example of a “train wreck”

||It's me.

 

Dave opted to pack up camp, and let Otacon know he'd be silent for an hour or so--but the entirety of the ride home was spent in anticipation to text Otacon again.

 

In a strange way, it felt like a very old fashioned sort of...courtship. They'd never seen each other, allowing themselves to be won by personality and conversation alone, and now visual approval seemed almost a non-issue.

  


Hal was actually relieved for the hour of radio silence. Not because he was tired of hearing from Snake, but he needed some time to collect his thoughts. He'd agreed to... well a relationship with Snake, an exclusive one, from the sounds of it. And the first for either of them in a long while.

 

He thought a little bit about some of the poetry he'd read while researching haiku for some project or another, long forgotten. Words of love, measure upon measure of linked verses written to lovers never seen, only imagined. The thread of a kimono, strand of hair enough to fuel a hundred fantasies.

 

Was that how Snake felt about him now? Without even a real name to put to the words they'd shared?

 

_But aren't you the same?_

  


Once home, settled, and in warmer clothes, Dave stretched out on his couch and sent a snapshot of his coffee to Otacon, to signal that he was home once more.

 

||Not necessarily Seattle's Best, but it will do for now lol

  
  


When his phone buzzed, Hal opened the picture, nervous until it loaded- image of a warm cup of coffee comfortable and inviting.

 

Hal returned a snapshot of his own, a paper cup branded with the logo of the cafe just below his apartment.

 

>>I dunno, looks a lot homier than mine. I might have to try it sometime.

>>We'll have to compare notes.

 

He smiled, tracing the image on his screen, making note of every detail. The edges of a magazine on the table, warm glow of what was likely a fireplace just offscreen. He could imagine himself there with Snake. Happy.

 

>>I can't wait.

  



	5. Chapter 5

Hal drummed his fingers nervously on his desk, staring at his computer (which had been idle the entire day) and his phone (similarly silent) daring either one to make a sound. He'd made up his mind, made it up two months ago, in fact. Today, he was going to meet Snake, for better or worse.

 

They’d just have to move on from there.

 

Their agreed upon meeting time wasn't for another few hours, but Hal had picked a location several blocks away. It was close enough to the park that Luka might get to enjoy a walk, but far enough from his own apartment that not showing his face in the cafe ever again wouldn't be any trouble. If things should things go poorly.

 

He really didn't want things to go poorly.

 

But he was starting to go stir crazy here, a bundle of nervous energy as he ran every possible scenario through his head. He knew the most likely one didn't involve them meeting at all. He'd given Snake an easy out, picked a place where he could wait outside- and if Snake decided to keep walking, that would be okay. No questions, no hurt feelings.

 

At least that's what Hal had told Snake. And himself. Repeatedly.

 

It was no use in staying put. He grabbed his jacket and messenger bag and ran a shaking hand through his hair. 

 

>>I'll be waiting outside. Glasses and an MIT jacket, reading a book.

>>I'll be happy to see you, but if you change your mind, that's okay too.

>>I'm just glad I got the chance to know you.

 

Otacon had been cryptic and strange about her whereabouts, but Dave was too flight exhausted to really worry about it. The hotel was welcoming and warm, quiet from the din of airports and airplanes that rattled his brain. A short nap, some food for himself and Luka, and a shower later, and Dave could almost swear he was excited.

 

Of course, the bizarre natural mullet he'd inherited from his father refused to behave, and  his beard seemed much less distinguished today than it had over the past few months.

 

Not that Otacon would know, she'd never seen him.

 

Dave's heart was racing, pounding in his chest and quickly distorting an otherwise joyous occasion into a really shitty one. Paranoia began to plague him, the way it usually did, but he still took hold of Luka's leash and walked out the door.

 

||All right, in that case, look for a jacket with a fox on the back. It's orange and embroidered, you can't miss it. It'll say "Foxhound."

 

Words of dissent and doubt quickly began to overwhelm Dave as he stepped out of the elevator and into the streets of Seattle, phone guiding him down a walking path to get to the agreed-upon cafe. Why was she being so dodgy? Dave decided it was probably fear over meeting someone with such a storied and painful past, someone with possible emotional baggage.

 

_ Just glad she got the chance to know me? Is this over before it even starts? _

  
  


The cafe ended up being more crowded than Hal was expecting, locals coaxed out into the open by the rare show of sunlight streaming through the clouds. But Hal was able to grab a latte, and made his way outside. It took a second to spy a free table, and as he made his way over he wondered if Snake would be able to see him at all.

 

Perhaps it was his anticipation, or the crowd, or his innate clumsiness, but a few seconds later he was standing stock still, warm coffee down his front.

 

"Oh, sorry buddy, didn't mean to. Let me get you a new one."

 

Hal grimaced and nodded, pulling the soggy jacket from his shoulders and laid it out over the side of his table as he took a seat and waited for Snake to show up.

 

Replacement drink soon in hand, he tried to clear his mind. Focus on his book, the view. Anything really, besides what... or  _ who _ he really wanted to be thinking about.

  
  


As Dave approached the cafe, he scanned the patrons and didn't see a girl in an MIT jacket. His heart leapt to his throat.

 

_ Odd. _

 

A glance at his watch, then at his phone. He was on time, but she was nowhere to be seen. He might have questioned a server on a day with more clarity, but Luka was already leaning heavily against his leg. An alert to sit, and regroup.

 

The metal chair squeaked a bit as it scraped along the sidewalk, allowing Dave to drop himself unceremoniously in the seat. He noticed the back of his chair had bumped the back of another patron's, and in his nervousness, felt the need to apologize.

 

"Ah, sorry, man. Didn't mean to clip you there."

 

Hal felt another sudden bump behind him. Maybe this particular cafe had been a bad choice in the end.

 

"Oh, no it's alright. Not the first time, today even," he said quietly, turning just a bit to offer the appropriate amount of smile. 

 

Unfortunately at that moment, Hal seemed to lose control of his facial muscles, unable to summon the appropriate congenial and apologetic grin as he looked up into the face of an absolutely stunning man. A bit rough around the edges, sure- but in a sort of exciting way that suggested the outdoors, hiking and fishing and climbing trees and a hundred other things Hal was absolutely no good at. He was staring, and he knew it.

 

It was only the sight of a familiar face that snapped him out of it.

 

"Oh. What a beautiful girl!" He exclaimed, offering his hand to the faithful dog already sniffing at the table.

 

"Ah, thanks. She's a service dog, but it's sort of a day off for her. C'mon, honey, come sit down. Sorry about her."

 

Dave was embarrassed about Luka...but even moreso about this stranger. Whatever God there might be, He was surely a cruel one for putting this delicate creature in front of Dave before he could meet Otacon.

 

For whatever reason, the man before him seemed kind, and a command to Luka didn't quite seem like a good conversation end.

 

"It's packed in here today, huh? Is it usually this busy?"

 

"Hmm? Oh, not sure, actually. I've only been here a few times, usually just in and out."

 

Hal turned his chair sideways, just enough that he could keep talking without having to twist over his shoulder. This... this was Snake. Had to be. He had "Alaskan Wilds" written all over him, and Hal would know Luka's striking features anywhere.

 

And he was here. Sitting down. Talking to him. Not at the same table but... it was something, wasn't it? A willingness to interact? He'd take it.

 

"I think people are just excited for the sunshine. Not a bad day for the park, hm girl?"

 

A service dog? Snake had never mentioned it before but Hal was hardly in a position to judge. At first glance he didn't notice any outward maladies that would necessitate such a thing, but that was probably a conversation for another time. And the fact that Snake was here now definitely increased the odds of another time, didn't it?

 

"How are you enjoying the city?"

 

"I dunno, haven't really seen much of it," Dave shrugged, friendly but still half-scanning the crowd for Otacon. It was definitely odd that she hadn't shown yet. "And honestly, I'm only here for a couple more days."

 

This guy was amicable, but most people in Seattle were known to be proud of their city. He was cute, too, and Dave felt a bit badly about chatting up someone he found attractive while waiting for his girlfriend.

 

"Sorry, excuse me, I just have to send a quick...hang on...sorry...."

 

Dave fished in his jacket pocket for his phone, opening up the last chat log with Otacon--right above the three from Meryl, Frank, and Kazuhira--and shooting her a text.

 

||Hey, I'm here. Am I missing you?

 

He frowned.

 

||Or did I scare you off?

 

Hal felt his heart sink as Snake turned away, wondering if he'd managed to blow it after all. And there was something... odd about the way he was speaking. Not that he himself wasn't accustomed to getting the jitters when dealing with people in real life but, it didn't feel like he was at a loss for what to say- more like he was... holding back. And that didn't make any sense at all.

 

The phone buzzed in his pocket, and he took a quick look, wondering who could be trying to contact him now.

 

. _..Oh. _

 

How to handle things from here?

 

He glanced up at Snake, who was scanning the crowd, still waiting for his cute girlfriend to show up, no doubt.

 

>>I think there's been some crossed wires.

>>Just hang tight, you'll see me soon.

 

Dave shook his head and sighed, sitting a bit more gingerly in his seat so as not to disturb the patron behind him again.

 

_ She's gonna stand you up. _

 

He sipped his coffee once more, and with some quick observation, planned an escape route from the crowded area. His hand traveled to the top of Luka's head, a rumbling sigh escaping his chest.

 

||All right, I'm sat.

 

_ Please show up soon. Please. _

 

Hal took a deep breath, readying his words carefully. He didn't want to embarrass Snake on top of everything else he was about to dump on him.

 

”Is it okay to give her a treat?" He asked, poking his head back into Snake's line of sight, even though he was frowning at his phone.

 

"I always carry a few when I go out, in case I meet someone special.” He took a knee by the dog, who remained at dutiful attention. “Which do you like, Luka? Chicken or bacon?"

 

_ That might not be enough, she is wearing tags after all. _

 

”Then again, you've been such a good helper, coming all the way from Alaska. Maybe you deserve both. Should we let Snake decide?"

 

He looked up from his spot on the ground, eyes waiting, just a little bit scared, but hopeful.

 

It was a slow turn, to look over his shoulder at the man kneeling behind him, Dave not quite willing to believe the implication of the words he'd heard.

 

Upon adjusting his body and chair to face a bit further sideways, Dave kicked himself as he finally saw the MIT jacket sitting to the side of the table.

 

This was...

 

"Ah."

 

He hadn't meant to sound disappointed, but it was undeniable in the single syllable. So, he opted to continue further.

 

"So...you're Otacon?"

 

"Y..Yeah," he mumbled, already feeling terrible, even though things were technically going better than he'd expected. He hadn't been punched in the face yet, for starters.

 

"It... It um. Stands for 'otaku convention'."

 

He looked up at Snake's face, sure to take in every ounce of disappointment clear on the man's upsettingly striking features. And why shouldn't he feel betrayed? Hal had all but promised the man a cute and sweet girlfriend and had come to deliver... himself.

 

He scrambled up from the table suddenly, eyes already starting to sting.

 

"I'm... I'm sorry..."

 

_ But your princess is in another castle. _

 

Often, in Dave's life, he encountered moments where nuance and subtlety might have better handled a situation than the blunt responses he normally gave. Situations like these usually came in the form of some shorted change, perhaps the wrong food delivered to his table. 

 

This, he decided, was not one of those moments.

 

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

 

Before he could stop himself, though, he'd shot out a hand to grab Otacon's arm, split-second amazed at how slender the form was. People murmured around him, and he let go, shoving his hands deep in his pockets.

 

"Sorry, just. Don't go. I want to talk to you."

 

The firm hand around his wrist had Hal wide-eyed for a moment, half flinching as he waited for the long expected blow. It didn't come. Snake didn't want to make a scene and that was fine with him, a quick shake of his head sending most of the onlookers about their business. He took a seat at Snake's table, eyes firmly set on the ground, the dog, anything but the face of the man he'd disappointed.

 

"I didn't mean to trick you."

 

"And I... I almost said something. A couple of times but..." He swallowed hard, not willing to let himself cry, not wanting to manipulate Snake any more than he already had.

 

"I'm sorry, I'm just... Not used to being liked. And you made me feel as though..." Hal exhaled, long and slow.

 

"It sounds stupid, I know. But I wanted to thank you face to face."

 

There was a long, uncomfortable silence in which Dave became hyper-aware of his surroundings. The noise of the cafe, the jingle of Luka's tags, the tingling in the tips of his fingertips from poor circulation and the brush of another person's warm skin.

 

He could leave, and that’s what she...he...had been on about the whole time. Otacon was expecting this.

 

Perhaps he hadn't meant to be deceitful after all.

 

Besides, Otacon had asked nothing of Dave, not even this visit. No money, no gifts, no reason to believe that any of this was a scam. Yes, it hurt, but something in Dave clung to the hope that Otacon was still the good soul he'd met online.

 

"My name is David," he rumbled, suddenly aware of how gruff his tone came across. He sounded like his father. Dave cleared his throat, and tried again, softer this time.

 

"But just about everyone calls me Dave."

 

Was this... a chance? At least to explain himself in the time they had, however long it took to finish a cup of coffee.

 

"I'm- I'm Hal, Dave." 

 

And nobody ever really calls me anything.

 

"Heh, Hal and Dave. That's... That's quite the coincidence, isn't it?"

 

He looked up for a few seconds, trying desperately to remember how to make conversation with a real human being, but was sharply reminded of why he retreated into online worlds to begin with. But Snake had traveled all this way, (not for his sake of course, Hal would never forgive himself if that had been the case) so the least Hal could do was try.

 

"My parents were big nerds too," he tried again. "That movie was one of the first things they ever talked about. Or at least that's the story I was told."

 

"It's funny, right? The kinds of things that end up bringing people together."

 

Leaning back, Dave allowed his posture to become a bit more relaxed, even smiling a bit at Hal's quip.

 

"Even funnier...the kinds of people you meet."

 

He looked down, to the right, then back at Hal, who looked as though he would spontaneously combust at any moment.

 

How could this terrified little nerd have been so instrumental in Dave's life? It was nearly unfathomable.

 

_ Of course, _ this was still the person he'd fallen for. This was Otacon, the voice of reason and laughter and hope in what had otherwise been dark, troubled times.

 

They'd made an agreement, a mutual offer of companionship and support.

 

Cautiously, Dave reached across the table, and took Hal's hand in his own, lightly brushing his thumb over obvious knuckles and prominent veins.

 

"I guess I should ask if you're hiding anything else from me," Dave chuckled, flashing a toothy grin. "But this sort of feels like the biggest reveal...."

 

Hal didn't mean to stare at Dave's hand, large and rough but surprisingly gentle as held his there. The only thing he'd ever dared to ask for. He didn't want to move, to shift in the slightest on the chance that it would somehow break the spell, whatever sort of pity or bemusement that meant Snake... no,  _ Dave _ was still sitting across from him, speaking to him as though Hal was... a real person.

 

"No... this is... ah. What you see is what you get. I guess."

  
  


_ Come on, you owe him better than that. _

 

"I didn't mean to... lie. I've played a lot of online games and... that wasn't even my first character in that one. Y'know. Tried out a lot of different races and classes and stuff."

 

He rubbed at the back of his neck, muscles tense, a cord of pain beginning to run through his shoulders.

 

"But then we met and... and for me the whole appeal of the game was getting to forget for a bit, and pretend to be... more. Someone else. Someone  _ better. _ "

 

He gave a lame sort of shrug that left his shoulders up around his chin, casting a quick glance down at himself.

 

"Wouldn't you?"

 

Dave frowned a bit as the Otacon he'd been texting and gaming with almost nonstop came closer and closer to the surface of this spindly man.

 

It was strange, finally meeting this person face to face, but Dave's irrational mind almost immediately shifted back to his previous affection for the bubbly mage girl.

 

"I wish you'd just told me," Dave sighed, shaking his head a bit, "but I'm not angry with you, Hal. It's gonna take me a minute to adjust, but we always talked about how appearances didn't matter."

 

He shrugged in return, offering what he hoped to be a kind look.

 

"If you're the same person who sent me those texts, who talked me through impossible dungeons and kept me company all night that one time I was sick? Then I still want to be here, and I wouldn't change anything about you."

  
  


"Y-yeah but... that's the... the "right" thing to say, isn't it?” Hal protested. I mean if you don't want to come off sounding like a total ass."

 

“And there's a hell of a difference between "I've got a lot of freckles and a big nose" and "I'm literally nothing at all the way you imagined me.

 

"S-sorry. I don't mean to imply you weren't being truthful about that sort of thing. But at the same time... I mean... have you looked in a mirror?" He gave a weak sort of laugh and a sad smile. 

 

"Slap some armor and gauntlets on you, and I'd swear they just mo-capped you for the game."

 

He took a deep breath, heart slowly starting to return to a normal pace the longer Dave held his hand, and the mixed look on the man's face didn't seem to be wholly upset. Just... confused, but trying to understand.

 

"I'm... I'm still me," he said quietly. "Still a nerd who drinks too much coffee and loves dogs and stays up too late until you remind me to get to bed before the sun comes up. And I..."

 

"I still feel the same way about you."

 

Dave sighed, nearly a sound of relief and defeat mixed in one.

 

"To be fair, I haven't really been upfront with you, either."

 

Hal wasn't sure what to make what sounded like the start of a confession, but he owed Dave at the very least the same fair listen.

 

"You can tell me. Whatever it is."

  
  


Time to confess. This was more than just not being who he purported to be. This was a permanent issue, something that would not improve or get better over time.

 

But, Hal had been brave. So Dave owed him that.

 

"I...hmm. I'm sure you've noticed Luka's vest."

 

Her ears perked at the sound of her name, but she remained obediently at Dave's heel.

 

"She's a service dog. A...psychiatric. Service dog."

 

_ Fuck, he's gonna think you're an axe murderer. _

 

Dave struggled and fumbled for words, hoping that by asking questions rather than providing explanations, Hal would fill in the blanks.

 

"Remember me telling you that I was in the military?"

 

He shrugged a bit, and gave an expression of, "Yep it's exactly what you think it is." Heart sinking and pulse quickening, the noise around him began to overwhelm, and Dave bounced his knee anxiously in their shared silence.

 

"It's not awful. Nightmares and stuff... It's...really fucking loud out here, isn't it?"

 

Hal, veteran in his own way, of countless bouts of anxiety and panic attacks could read the expression on Dave's face as clearly as if he'd written it there himself. He found his hand tightening around Dave's fingers almost involuntarily as the man soldiered on, doing his best to explain while begging Hal not to make him spell it out. 

 

"That must have been incredibly hard for you," he answered, eyes resolute on the man who had come to mean so much to him over the past months. He knew Dave had been retired for "a while". Had he been dealing with this on his own for so long? Well, not entirely alone, he mused, thinking of the faithful dog at their feet.

 

But Hal knew a bit about nightmares, how real they could seem, and how waking up was little comfort in a cold and empty room.

 

"There's a park, just across the street. You think Luka might like a chance to stretch her legs?"

 

There he was. There was the Otacon that Dave had come to know and care for over the past few months. Caring, kind, thoughtful, understanding--that was all the proof that any shred of skepticism remaining might have needed.

 

He nodded, swallowing thickly and taking Luka's leash in hand. Hal was going to help, and if Dave played his cards right, he might not even be bothered by the other side effects of his disorder.

 

Some cash was placed on the table and Dave stood, inhaling deeply before producing a cigarette carton from his pocket and lighting one up out of pure muscle memory. As they walked, he offered the carton to Hal cordially.

 

"You smoke?"

 

Hal shook his head. Smoking was hardly his favorite bad habit, but he was not about to comment on it. 

 

"Ha, ha. Not me. Caffeine is my drug of choice." He picked up his paper cup and tipped it in the air as he joined Dave in leaving the table, beckoning towards the exit with his head. "But you go ahead."

 

The street wasn't a busy one, especially not midday, and within a minute they were already in sight of inviting expanses of green.

 

"I come here once in awhile," he started, hoping to break the strange tension that had fallen over them with idle conversation. "When I can stand to leave the apartment anyway. Gotta get that vitamin D somehow, right?"

 

"'When I can stand to leave'," Dave chuckled dryly, taking a drag of his cigarette and smiling around it. "There's a sentiment I understand."

 

"Sometimes there's vendors on the weekend.” Hal added, trying to keep things light. “Selling art and stuff. I uh, never really buy anything, but it's neat to see."

 

They walked for another moment more before Dave realized Hal was keeping his distance. With a quick whistle from her handler, Luka switched the side she walked on so that she was not the natural barrier he'd usually needed.

 

Reaching out, Dave allowed his pinky to brush Hal's hand, chuckling lightly as he did so.

 

"I'm glad you understand me, Otacon."

 

There was a sort of jolt through Hal as he felt Dave's hand barely brush his, an accident to be sure. But he still let himself enjoy even the brief contact, or more accurately the fact that Dave didn't seem to mind that it had happened. 

 

He'd even... Laughed. A soft and low thing to be sure but still warm. Hal wanted to hear it again and again.  

 

He smiled, looking down at the gravel path they were walking as he tried to sort out his thoughts.

 

"I've never really known if it was possible to fully understand another person but.." he looked up, smile unsure but unmoving. "I'd like to try."

 

"B-besides, I have Luka to give me tips! I bet she knows you better than a-anyone, huh girl? We can have late night treats and gab."

 

Dave barked out a laugh then, stopping momentarily to crush his cigarette on the bottom of his boot before tossing it in a nearby trash can.

 

"Luka has a lot of shit on me, that's for damn sure."

 

Dave eyed the dog beside him, who looked up with hope and surety of life, before he turned back to Hal.

 

"Ah, she'd probably tell you that I spend too much time talking to my computer and not enough talking to her. But yeah, she understands me as much as a pup can."

 

There was a sudden, strong urge for physical affection in that moment, and he knew he was going to have to broach a difficult subject before this encounter was over. The weight of the words sat in his throat for a bit of an uncomfortable silence, but Dave finally untangled his own voice in the most blunt way possible.

 

"So, I suppose we should just- get it out of the way. Are we still dating?"

 

Then, sheepishly, "Because that's ok with me if it's ok with you."

 

Hal could feel his face growing hot and the sounds of distant voices and traffic started to fade as his head was filled with a strained and high pitched buzzing. He hadn't heard that right. Couldn't have. 

 

It was one thing for Dave to accept that he'd essentially been duped into thinking the cute and bubbly girl he'd been talking to actually existed. And it only proved what a decent fellow he was that he bothered to stay at that coffee shop, talking to Hal, and even taking his hand in a show of good faith.

 

But it was against reason that Dave would want... _ him. _  Albeit with a little clearing of the air...

 

And yet there he was, looking almost... shy, which was absolutely baffling. Hal was the one who spoke in mumbled words, staring at the ground as he struggled to get his point across- but Dave- was basically as close to a real live hero as it got. What did he have to be nervous about?

 

_ Maybe you should stop thinking about yourself for a change and take the time to find out. _

 

"You mean it?" Hal asked, slowly coming back to the real world, feeling terrible about the silence that had grown between them as he lost and found himself in thoughts. "You're okay with um.." he opened his arms a little in half of a shrug, coffee soaked jacket hanging lamely from his arms. 

 

"I mean... I'm probably not even a very good kisser."

 

"You're not the first guy I've dated, if that's what you're after," Dave quipped, chuckling a bit and folding his arms in resolution. "And likely not the worst kisser."

 

A sudden thought flashed to his father, standing before Dave with arms folded similarly, the burning end of a cigar illuminating his face like a demon. Quickly he uncrossed them and shoved his hands in his pockets. He realized he probably looked a bit fidgety, nervous; but better he look shy than the...indescribable way Big Boss always looked.

 

"I didn't know what you looked like when I asked you to be mine," he continued on. "It was a risk. Sometimes, you have to take a risk, Hal."

 

Luka whined and pressed into the side of Dave's leg, sitting politely. She sensed something was coming, perhaps an anxious fit or a panic attack, but Dave didn't have time for that now.

 

He had to know if Otacon...  _ Hal _ was still his.

 

Dave might have looked strange, arms folding and unfolding, weight shifting from foot to foot as his faithful companion looked on with watchful eyes. And yet, Hal felt oddly at ease as he watched him, every movement and gesture as familiar as if it were his own. After all, they had been, at one point or another.

 

The fact that Dave was unsure was practically  _ comforting _ . He knew the risks and was still ready to make the jump. With someone like Hal of all people.

 

It might have been premature, and it certainly wasn't graceful or remotely cool, but Hal couldn't stop himself from leaping forward, throwing his arms around Dave's chest and holding tight like he had every right in the world to be there.

 

He didn't trust himself to speak, not just yet. But maybe this once Dave would understand him even without words.

 

It struck Dave, in that moment, that he hadn't hugged another person since the last time he'd seen Kaz, and that was almost two years past. This hug felt genuine, full of heart and good intentions. Hal was just as scared, but this was a power move for such an unsteady start.

 

Dave found himself wrapping his arms around Hal, but this wasn't really an affectionate embrace. This felt like a promise. A promise to protect and watch over.

 

He pulled Hal close, squeezing a bit, before cradling Hal's cheek in his hand and kissing his forehead.

 

"I'll take that as a yes?"

 

Hal's chest trembled, almost imperceptibly at first, eventually evolving into a full shudder, until his whole body was shaking. Alarming perhaps, until he managed to open his eyes, the smallest hint of tears already clinging to his lashes. 

 

The shy smile on his face quickly gave way to quiet but open laughter, absolutely overtaking him as he tried to remember enough words to string together a sentence.

 

"Yeah-" His hands shakily grabbed at the worn fabric of Dave's coat as he replayed the sensation of that brief but promising kiss over and over in his head.

 

"Dave..."

 

He buried his head back against Dave's chest, cheeks almost sore from the strain of smiling so hard.

 

"Good."

 

"Yeah, very good," Dave chuckled in return, holding Hal close to his chest with a gentle hand on the crown of his head.

 

He squeezed momentarily, then released the hug, though it seemed Hal had little intent of letting go. Dave wrapped an arm around his shoulders and positioned them to walk down the park pathway, Luka faithfully positioning herself to his opposite side.

 

"So, I guess this makes it a date then, right? First official date with my...."

 

He looked to Hal out of the corner of his eye for approval, then smiled.

 

"My boyfriend."

 

Hal congratulated himself on not falling forward straight onto his face at the sound of Dave's words. It might not have been a big deal to him, especially if Hal wasn't the first guy he'd been involved with, but Hal had never been anyone's... anything, really, scant few encounters never lasting long enough to deserve a label. 

 

"A date, huh?" He did his best not to sound overeager but it was difficult, so he ended up burying part of his face into Dave's side. 

 

"I like the sound of that."

 

He took a quick breath to steady himself before continuing.

 

"So we had drinks, took a walk... What comes next?"

 

Dave checked his watch from the other side of Hal's face, but his stomach did a bit of time-telling for him as well, a deep rumble signifying a meal that he was not about to miss.

 

"How about we get some food," Dave proposed, thumbing through a ratings app with his leash hand, the other idly tracing about on Hal's shoulder. "Today is my free day in the city, anyway. Appointment's tomorrow, then I leave the next day. Might as well make a day of it today, right?"

 

He pulled Hal close with minimal forearm effort and kissed the temple of his forehead with a small chuckle. "What are you in the mood for?"

 

Hal weighed the question in his mind briefly, still reeling from how natural things were starting to feel. Just two people, (and one very good dog) taking a casual stroll in the park, making lunch plans- as though they had every right in the world to do so. And didn't they?

 

Quickly, Hal tried to think of something interesting enough to make him sound 'cool', but not so pretentious that they'd wander out of this newly forged comfort zone. Perhaps something Dave might not get the chance to have out in the Alaskan wilds?

 

"There's a ramen place not far from here, I've heard good things but haven't managed to go myself. Supposed to be very authentic," he added with an nod. "If uh, that's the kind of thing you're game to try."

 

"Hell, ramen sounds good," Dave agreed, memories traveling back to soft boiled eggs and savory ham lovingly making their way into what had previously been plain noodles.

 

That pang of sadness felt out of place in this moment, so Dave muffled it with another look at Hal.

 

As they walked and chatted, Dave couldn't help but truly admire Hal's features, from his shining eyes behind charmingly round frames, to the grey sprouting in patches throughout a thick head of hair. He had a long jaw and a bit of a shadow, and watching the musculature in his face move as he spoke was like watching fine machinery.

 

Everything about Hal was precise. He was sharp as a tack and as brilliant in person as he had been online, and Dave could see this man genuinely looking out him if it came right down to it.

 

_ I'll protect you, too. _

 


	6. Chapter 6

Dave held the door at the restaurant, more a hole-in-the-wall than anything, Luka wagging her tail slowly at the savory smells she encountered.

 

This smelled like home already, and now Hal was here too.

 

"This place is pretty cool, Otacon."

 

Hal's face brightened as he walked into the tiny shop, bell on the door jingling cheerfully as it swung closed behind them. It was small, but was hardly run-down, and Hal suspected the owners had chosen the space for its intimate feel, which made it all that much closer to the storefronts he'd seen in movies. 

 

There were scant few tables, most of the seats positioned around the countertop that gave a full view of the staff hard at work in the kitchen. They stood bent over pots big enough for Hal to stand in, tending carefully to gallons of broth and shaking the water from freshly boiled noodles, plating bowl after bowl. He could feel his mouth watering despite himself.

 

"Yeah, I'm almost sad I haven't been here before," he agreed. "Then again, it's nice to share something new."

 

He stared blankly at the menu, recognizing words like "shoyu", "miso" and "chyashu" but having no idea what he should order, most of his ramen consumption having been limited to the instant variety.

 

"This is, ah... ah, a little overwhelming," he admitted. "Extra pork? How many is regular pork?" He mumbled quietly to himself in an attempt to make sense of things.

 

Dave chuckled aloud at Hal's adorable confusion, winking at him from a back glance before scanning the menu. His translation tripped a few times, as his Japanese was a bit rusty; but in time, he managed to work it out and order two pork bowls for himself and Hal. 

 

Once paid and seated, Dave passed one fragrant broth bowl to Hal, before digging into his own with a set of chopsticks from the basket on the table.

 

"This is...really damn good," he said, almost through a mouthful. "Good pick, Hal."

 

Hal watched in silence for a few seconds as Dave lost no time in digging in. He rolled his chopsticks lightly between his fingers as his brain worked to unpack the last few moments. Dave had made short work on the menu and his pronunciation of their order was good enough to garner a smile from the cook. And of course there were the surprising (but welcome) terms of endearment he'd ladled on through bites of noodles.

 

"Is it?" He poked a slice of pork down into the broth with his chopsticks, exchanging a glance with Luka before digging in in earnest. "Oh wow, yeah. This is levels beyond my usual Maruchan!" 

 

He swirled a few bits of green onion around in a circle, releasing a fragrant cloud of steam that fogged his glasses. He didn't mind. It was all sort of perfect, the two- well,  _ three  _ of them in this place, growing more comfortable in each other's company as they shared the best meal Hal had had in months.

 

"Where'd you learn... All that?" Hal gestured back towards the counter.

 

Dave’s chewing slowed as he ruminated on the answer, opting to shrug off paranoia and tell Hal the truth.

 

"Here and there. Picked a lot of it up in the military," he nodded, sipping his water before continuing, "My ex taught me the rest."

 

Thinking Hal might sweat at the mention of an ex (because Dave had come to know his crippling insecurities over time), he opted to throw in a hurried, albeit nervous disclaimer.

 

"Don't worry, he's dead now."

 

_ Fuck _ , that wasn't right.

 

"The ex that taught me was a great guy, but he's gone now and all I have left is some Japanese vocabulary."

 

Hal nibbled at the tips of his chopsticks, the practically casual "he" that Dave dropped into the conversation not escaping his notice. It shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did, after all Dave had agreed to date _ him _ , and had even said that Hal wasn't the first guy he'd been with- but he'd been so caught up in the moment he hadn't been able to give it much thought. It was impossible not to wonder about this "ex", and why Dave thought it was important to reassure Hal that he was dead of all things. Maybe they'd still be together if he  _ wasn't... _

 

...but no, that was a dangerous path to go down and right now Hal was determined not to let his own self-doubts get the better of him.

 

"It sounds like you two were really close," he said quietly, taking a mouthful of broth to give himself a little more time to think. "I'm sorry you had to lose him... that way."

 

"But still, it's nice to have something to remember people by, especially something useful like that, isn't it?"

A smirk found its way across Dave's face, likely a bit bitter to any onlooker, but hopefully Hal could make out the difference between bitterness and dark humor.

 

"Miller was a typical old military bastard," came a rough chuckle. "Closeted as hell, stubborn too. I lost him way before he died...hell, I didn't know you could lose someone twice, yknow...."

 

Luka whined and adjusted her position at Dave's feet, collar and harness jingling and bringing Dave back to the moment.

 

"At any rate, yeah, I like being able to speak Japanese. Comes in handy, for sure."

 

His eyes met Hal's, a gentle smile now crossing rugged features, and a playful nudge of his boot under the table.

 

"I could teach you. Might help you with those animes of yours."

 

"Really?" Hal perked up immediately. "That would be amazing!" Immediately his mind was filled with mental images of note cards and online messages from Dave he'd have to decipher before answering. In truth, he'd been trying to figure out what they could 'do' while living apart as they were, and something like this seemed just about perfect.

 

"I'll definitely do my best. I don't know how good I'll be at learning a new language, I mean I always picked up programming languages easily enough but that's not exactly the same thing, I mean there's a whole new alphabet and everything!" 

 

He attacked his bowl with sudden ferocity, as though they were meant to begin as soon as he swallowed down the last noodle. 

 

"I know a couple of words," he offered. "I couldn't help but pick up a few from watching shows. 'Itadakimasu!' I know you say that before you eat. And 'Arigatou' and 'Konnichiwa' of course. 'Shoujo' and 'Shounen' come up a lot."

 

"Uh. 'Aishiteru'." He bowed his head back towards his bowl. 

 

"Stuff like that."

 

There was an unfamiliar heat rising in Dave's face, in the tips of his ears and the end of his nose, and he knew he had to have been scarlet flushed. Hal's reaction to the proclamation of love had been shy...which, more importantly, was potentially telling.

 

"That's an important one," he nodded. Definitely one you can make lots of use of."

 

They chatted in the quiet restaurant for a while more, about language and Japan and life in general, when Dave leaned on the table with a wicked smile.

 

"So, you have all my dirty details! Or at least, the major points. What about you? Crazy exes, weird family?"

 

Embarrassing and totally subtle words of affection aside, things were going pretty well, at least by Hal's standards. Of course, seeing as he half expected the day to end with Dave punching him square in the jaw before storming off, so perhaps that wasn't saying much. But no, here they were enjoying some actually-quite-good food in a comfortable setting and Dave didn't seem to mind at all when Hal asked him a hundred and one questions about the time he spent overseas.

 

And then of course Dave asked the obvious question. He had no way of knowing, Hal knew. Besides things like questions about family were getting-to-know-you 101, the kind of thing most people didn't think twice about before listing it on their online profiles.

 

"I have a sister," he started, that one was easy enough. "Step-sister. But I haven't seen her in years, not since she moved back to England with our- her mother."

 

_ Her  _ mother.

 

It dawned on Dave that of all the joking, and flirting, and quest-finding they'd done, they had never discussed family. He thought it only fair to offer a bit of information back, just in solidarity, but not to overwhelm.

 

"I see. I have two brothers. One's my twin, and we have a younger brother. I don't miss George too much, he's off in DC; but being separated from Eli...well, they say twins share a bond? I guess, anyway. He's in the UK, too. Small world."

 

Dave sipped his drink and leaned back a bit, body language still open but less pressuring. Anytime step-siblings came into play, things got dicey.

 

"Do you talk to your parents at all?"

 

"Mmm, not really," Hal stared down at his empty bowl, tiny scraps of bean sprouts and onion peeking out from what was left of the warm broth. "My mom died a long time ago," he explained. "A really long time ago, I don't even remember her," he added quickly, so Dave wouldn't think he was trying to garner sympathy for the loss of a woman he hadn't even known. 

 

"I grew up with just my dad," he continued. "But after he and Julie split he more or less disappeared. I think he prefers being on his own, really. Maybe that's always been true."

 

He cleared his throat and blinked hard a few times before taking a breath and looking back up at David's questioning expression.

  
  


"Sorry, I didn't mean for that to get weird. So there were three of you? And you've got a twin? I had no idea!"

 

Dave could hear it in Hal's voice, he wasn't ready to say anything more about his own life. A deceased mother, an estranged father...it sounded all too familiar.

 

The decision to empathize was put aside in favor of humoring Hal's distraction bait.

 

"Not weird. Also, yes, three rowdy boys, and I do indeed have a twin."

 

Dave rifled through his phone for a moment, fumbling through social media he barely used to find a picture.

 

"That's George, and also my dad. Dad works in DC, too. We used to joke that he was the perfect clone of our dad."

 

He turned his phone so that Hal could see the image of the two burly men, side-by-side. George wore a sharp suit and glasses, while the elder Sears sported sandy fatigues and an eyepatch.

 

He retrieved the phone after a moment and searched again, this time laying down a photo of a man that could have passed as David, were his hair not long and blonde. It was also a photo someone else had taken. But in some sort of strange underground setting, prompting the figure beside him to wear a bright red side-shave and a gas mask.

 

"The blonde is Eli, my brother. The guy in the mask is his friend since they were kids, don't worry about him."

 

"Oh, wow- your brother's friend is a little... extreme, isn't he? Although I probably shouldn't comment, it's not like you can't find that same kind of thing at the clubs on a weekend here." He cleared his throat. "I mean, I assume. You know exactly where I've been every Saturday night for the last three months."

 

He tilted his head a bit as he studied the face of David's twin, identical to be sure, but there was something strange about the expression he wore, a self-satisfied kind of smirk, frozen in time. For some reason he couldn't imagine the same look on David's cautious and weary features.

 

"So which one of you is the 'evil' twin?" he jibed, handing the phone back. "Kidding, of course."

 

"Are any of those myths true?" He asked, always curious about the more fantastic sides of human nature. "Secret languages, or having a sense about when the other one is in trouble?"

 

Dave chuckled, pocketing his phone once more.

 

"Eli is...definitely the evil twin," he smiled. "But, as kids, we were closer than we are now. I do tend to know when he's in trouble, but that's usually because he shows up at my door when shit hits the fan. We were raised on separate continents during the 'developmental years', but he's still my brother."

 

Dave grew quiet, his turn to withdraw, the moved his gaze from an empty corner of the restaurant back to Hal.

 

"He also looks like our mom."

 

Dave hadn't thought of his mother in a long while, not this seriously, at least. He knew where everyone in his life was at any given moment, but the woman his father simply called "Eva" had all but disappeared from the face of the earth.

 

A soft whine and a rough touch brought Dave back to the moment, Luka's large paw resting on his thigh.

 

"Anyway. Sorry. Ah, yeah, I'd say we can sense each other fairly well."

 

After a quick check of his phone, Dave stood and stretched.

 

"You wanna get out of here? Maybe show me some sights and then, ah...."

 

He took Hal's hand and helped him up, pulling the slim frame close to murmur in his ear.

 

"Then maybe I can show you where I'm staying?"

 

Hal found himself positively charmed as David took his hand and helped him to his feet, but the soft warmth in his cheeks soon gave way to a heady rush of heat across his face and neck as David's low rumble tickled at his ear.

 

David had given him an invitation, or perhaps “opportunity” was a better word. Just what that entailed however was still a mystery, though Hal's head was already reeling with hazy visions of possibilities, and a pull towards the bottom of his stomach made him a little unsteady on his feet.

 

Whatever David had in mind, it would at the very least include some privacy for them both, and though they'd only been out and about for a few hours, the promise of some time alone with this man he'd come to care about was very appealing.

 

"I think I'd like that a lot," he answered softly, before pulling away, slowly forcing himself back to reality.

 

"What do you say, Luka? Ready to go?"

 

The dog's tail wagged enthusiastically, and Dave couldn't help but beam as he bid the shop owners farewell. He held a strange sense of pride in Luka and Hal's new friendship, as though Luka might have been disappointed and forbid him from seeing Hal ever again.

 

It was another hour or so of window shopping and store browsing before they hailed a cab back to Dave's hotel. He'd booked a mid-range room in the hopes of not disappointing the girl...well, no, the  _ man _ he loved. A sudden rush of anxiety overcame Dave as they entered the room, and he quickly directed Luka to her "place" in the bathroom. This was it, now or never. He chewed on his lip as he encouraged Hal to get comfortable.

 

Hal hadn't spent much time in hotels. His family never went on vacations in his youth and though technically he always had his share of crash space on the floor of anime convention hotel rooms split seven ways, he'd always opted to spend as much time awake and out on the floor as he could. Sleep was better done at home, anyway- rather than wedged onto an air mattress between a near-stranger's backpack and cooler full of energy drinks. 

 

But he could tell from the lobby that this was a 'nice' hotel, the sort with decorative pillows on the beds and someone in the lobby whose entire purpose seemed to be to direct weary travelers to trendy bars and sushi joints. 

 

It was a little awkward at first, and for a minute or two all he could do was stare at the blinding white of the sheets while Dave got Luka settled in. But soon enough Dave rejoined him, and it was only the matter of a smile and welcoming arm around his waist before Hal felt welcome at last.

 

* * *

 

 

Morning came earlier than Dave had anticipated and he rolled over, burying his face into Hal's mousy hair with a muffled groan.

 

"Tell the sun to fuck off."

 

A night owl at heart, Hal did little more than mumble in agreement, pressing further into the comforting warmth of Dave's chest.

 

"Be nice to the sun, Dave," he yawned. "We're going to need it for years to come."

 

Dave chuckled, hugging the smaller frame close and smiling. He knew physically, he was much stronger than Hal, and it filled him with a vain sense of pride to know that Hal seemed to appreciate that fact, from the way he behaved.

 

"Do you mean 'we, the planet' or 'we, the two of us'? Because in Alaska," he went on with a bit of a stretched and another groan, while reaching for his phone, "we go for looooong periods of time with no sun. It can be kind of nice, actually."

 

"Months and months with no sun, huh? I'm almost surprised there's no giant tech companies making a reach to plant their bases up there. Plenty of space, temperatures that help keep cooling costs down," Hal grinned. 

 

A glance at his lockscreen, and Dave sighed.

 

"My appointment is in a few hours...."

 

He hugged Hal close once more, this time for his own comfort.

 

"Nervous."

 

As the arms tightened around him for a second time, Hal felt himself being shaken just a little from his quiet musings, and went to far as to let his arms creep around Dave's back, settling gently around his waist.

 

"Doctor's offices can be kind of intimidating, huh?" He tried to keep his tone light, leaving it to Dave to decide how much he wanted to reveal. "Not a big fan myself."

 

He thought for a minute before speaking again, hoping he wasn't out of line.

 

"I could... go with you? I mean not sit in or anything like that but ah-" he made a faint humming sound. "Been awhile since I've read an actual magazine."

 

He bit hard down on his lip, wondering if that was a bit much on his part.

 

"It's just- well I'd just be sitting at home thinking about you anyway..."

 

"Yeah," Dave nodded, sighing deeply. "That's a good idea."

 

After a lazy distribution of kisses and a few instances of wandering hands, Dave finally managed to disentangle himself from the bed and Hal's arms...though not entirely without some grumbled complaints.

 

Dressing was a trial of it's own accord, as focusing on Hal's features and frame was altogether more interesting than choosing one out of the handful of shirts he'd brought.  Hal was beautiful in his own way, all slender slopes and graceful angles, with long limbs and a smile to light up a room; Dave couldn't help but absentmindedly grin.

 

Once the morning routine was almost done, Luka was fitted with her bright green work vest. A badge bearing, "SERVICE DOG: PLEASE DO NOT PET ME! I'M WORKING!" was emblazoned on either side of the vest, giving Dave an added sense of security for the day.

 

"How's breakfast sound?"

 

Dave's morning preparations were a bit more involved than Hal's (which mostly involved pulling on yesterday's jeans and running a hand through his hair until his unruly locks reached some kind of presentable state)- but this meant he was able to linger in the hotel bed just a little longer. It was decadent in a way, languidly turning over in the king-sized bed and relishing the plush mattress and smooth sheets that were a far cry from the nest he'd cobbled together in his own apartment.

 

But the softest bed in the world would have failed to keep Hal from opening his eyes, taking in the stunning view of Dave stretching before getting dressed, each muscle of his back tenderly warmed by what sunlight they'd deigned to allow into the room.

 

"Breakfast?" He grinned, sitting up at last, letting the blanket fall down around his waist. "What's that?"

 

He grabbed his phone and started sifting though some local results, "Bacon and eggs kinda guy, I'm guessing? Looks like there's a few diners around, should we pick something on the way to the office?"

 

"You say 'on the way to the office' like we've been going together forever," Dave chuckled, returning to the bed. "But yes, at least for some coffee. You guys weren't kidding about having the best."

 

The events of the night before replayed in Dave's mind, more like a chopped film reel than a congruent memory. Still, Hal was here, beautiful and good, and Dave wasn't quite so nervous about the appointment now to come.

 

They'd hung Hal's MIT jacket on the shower bar to dry, though it would most certainly need a stain treatment now; so Dave moved to his suitcase and brought forth a couple of thick hoodies. One was grey, with a logo for the Iditarod National Historic Trail, and the other was a well-loved heather grey piece, sporting a worn version of the Foxhound logo from Dave's jacket.

 

"I brought these, uhm. I know it's pretty cold out and your jacket isn't in great shape right now."

 

There was a long pause, and he laid them both on the bed.

 

"Just. Just in case."

 

Hal had vaguely wondered if he'd have time to run by his place and pick up a different jacket. The clouds were definitely crowding the sun out of the sky and doctor's offices weren't known for being particularly cozy, besides. He looked down at the two hoodies curiously, an unexpected, but telling glimpse into Dave's home life.

 

Did he wear these when he went out with the dogs? Or to sit and read by the fire? Had he been wearing one of these same hoodies while sitting at the computer, fending off ogres and making Hal smile with jokes about the creatures’ imagined lack of hygiene? 

 

He took up the heather-grey hoodie in his hands, running his fingers briefly over the logo. He'd seen it before, but still had no idea about it's significance to Snake. 

 

"Are you sure it's alright?"

 

Of course, he was already slipping it over his head, greeted by the new but comforting scents of smoke and pine that he'd already come to associate with the man.

 

"Ha. It's a little big on me-" He did a half turn, twisting to inspect himself.

 

"But I kind of like it."

 

"You look official. Big Boss would've been pleased."

 

Of course, in reality, he wouldn't have, and Dave knew in his heart that his father had no time for anyone even remotely close to Hal's physique and personality.

 

John Sears wouldn't have approved of much about the relationship, in truth. Dave couldn't help a smug grin every so often as they descended the elevator, ate a full meal at the diner, and made their way to the doctor's building together. His father would be furious that Dave was mentally unwell, retired, to say nothing of being in a relationship with another man. The thought had Dave nearly joyful, walking hand-in-hand with Hal until they reached the medical complex.

 

For the first time in a while, Dave felt secure in the elevator up to the office; but nausea gripped his gut like a vice at the sight of the waiting room.

 

"I gotta sit down," he hurriedly told Hal, taking a seat and curling his arms around himself. "God, I'm nervous. I hate appointments in buildings."

 

His knee bounced wildly, and he sighed wearily.

 

"Talk to me while we wait?"

 

By the time Dave had found his place in one of the drab waiting room chairs, Hal already had a hand lightly resting on his back, thumb rocking slow and lazy circles between his shoulders.

 

"Of course," he agreed instantly, nodding as he accepted his task with utmost seriousness, though he tried to keep his tone light. "You know I'll always be here to back you up, Snake."

 

He gave a small smile, hoping a reference to their shared past time might lighten the mood. 

 

"You know, I was thinking after we're done here we could head for my place? I could show you the 'bat cave' so to speak. It's fine for dogs to come in the building if they're just visiting." He took a deep breath, feeling a bit of leftover nervous energy still rattling around in his system. "I guess I never stopped hoping that you'd still want to hang around with me," he added quietly.

 

"But this," he nudged Dave's shoulder briefly with his chin. "This is even better."

 

It was a normal show of affection for most people, Dave reasoned, but the feeling of a hand on his back and a soft voice in his ear was foreign enough to make his heart trip.

 

Kaz had never been so kind, always making Dave feel like he'd been at arm's length from the man. Meryl, too, had been emotionally invulnerable, unwilling to let that final guard down to save their relationship.

 

_ The guard you let down to accept that Otacon lied to you. _

 

It was a strong thought, nearly physically painful. A glance at Hal, originally to size up the man's emotional state, calmed him rather unexpectedly. Hal was gentle and timid. He hadn't lied, he'd only been afraid of the damage the truth might cause.

 

"Thick as thieves," Dave rumbled with a small grin before being called up to fill out some paperwork. He returned to his seat as quickly as humanly possible, folding his arms and closing his eyes. Dave's head tilted back entirely, knees resuming their bouncing, prompting Luka to emit a soft whine.

 

He didn't know what came over him, or possessed him to ask, but a question slipped from his immediately-regretful lips in the quiet lull.

 

"You ever see a shrink, Otacon?"

 

Hal didn't want to take too long to answer, keeping the conversation going was obviously key to making sure Dave didn't start panicking right here and now, before he even had a chance to see his doctor. He could read the concern on Luka's face just as clearly. But he needed to be careful how he worded his answer, wanting to be completely honest with Dave from here on out, but also acutely aware that their relationship was still in its infancy. There were a lot of ways this could go wrong.

 

"Yeah," he said at last. "Several times when I was really young, I think my dad thought there was something wrong with me, not making friends, always off in my own world."

 

Another deep breath. Hal tried resting one hand on Dave's knee, to settle himself as much as the other man. 

 

"And later on, around the time my dad and Julie split..." He flexed his fingers slightly. "It was difficult to adjust."

 

This was getting pretty heavy and he wasn't well informed enough to know if that was what Dave really needed right now. Hal began to grow a little frustrated with himself, he wanted to help, but he was quickly drifting out of his depths, and he was met with the stark reality that there were so many things about Dave he just didn't know.

 

"It's sort of silly, when I think about it. Spent the first half of my life alone, and then a few short years of family life and Bam! I didn't know what to do with myself when I ended up alone again."

 

"That sucks," Dave mumbled, peeking at Hal from the corner of a barely-opened eye. "Kids shouldn't have to see shrinks."

 

He lowered his head, to be even with Hal's line of sight, and clicked his tongue in a sort of distasteful tsk sound. 

 

"Alone, though? There's power in being alone. Look how well you turned out." He chuckled a bit, before looking back up at the ceiling.

 

"I suppose I'm not exactly the voice of reason, though. Maybe I spent too much time alone myself. Hmph."

 

Dave laid one of his large, weather-cracked hands over Hal's just as the waiting room door swung open.

 

"Mr. Sears," a polite-looking girl beckoned, waving minutely when Dave acknowledged her presence.

 

"Welp. Hour Zero has dawned, Otacon. Once more into the fray."

 

Hal didn't even have the chance to open his mouth and object, to tell Dave he really wasn't all that well adjusted, and he'd delved into an endless stream of online worlds because he still didn't handle the solitude as well as he might have, before he was ushered away, quickly if a little unsteadily through the office door. 

 

"It's gonna be okay, Snake," he said quietly, offering an encouraging thumbs up. "I'll be right here when it's over." 

 

He watched as Dave disappeared and sank into his chair. He couldn't blame him for being unsteady. Just sitting in the waiting room was making Hal feel a bit uncomfortable, immediately dredging up old memories he'd have preferred to have left untouched. 

 

It wasn't just the thought of seeing his old therapist suddenly popping out from behind the front desk that had him on edge, though. Hal realized he'd have to come clean about everything, sooner or later- but how much leniency was Dave willing to give him? How much past unpleasantness was too much before Dave realized he wasn't worth the trouble?

 

Hal sighed, and folded over himself, chest resting flush against his legs as he stared down at the carpet. For now at least, this wasn't about him- it was about Dave, and making sure he was okay.

 

He just hoped things were going smoothly on the other side of the door.

 


End file.
